` Feel The Pressure

[KILLIAN I. HUMPHREY]

Waking up at 6:30 am, Killian felt something was not right; maybe it was the feeling in his stomach. The milk had to have been out by then, he thought. Glancing over to the left side of the bed, he saw Jamie, looking oddly gray in the face. It was probably the lighting, since it was that awkward time where everythings’ hue was off. Still a little skeptical, he shuffled up to the stand, looking at himself in the mirror. He looked like shit, no doubt. He then noticed a piece of paper sitting on the stand, scrawled sloppily in a woman’s handwriting. Reading it, a sickening feeling plummeted into his stomach. Was it Jamie? He spun so quick it made him sick feeling, and he bolted over to her. Shaking her, he tried to wake her. “Jamie.” No response. “Jamie! JAMIE!” He started panicking bad. Taking a ragged breath in, he rammed his head to her chest, trying to see if her heart was beating. He didn’t hear anything. “FUCK!” He screamed, and quickly got dressed, his head spinning while he did. After dressing, he scampered out of the room and knocked on the closest room to theirs. His rapping on the door must have been annoying enough and urgent sounding, for a rich looking man in a silk bathrobe scowled as he opened the door. Killian gasped, trying (not so successfully) to keep his eyes from welling up. “My friend.” He hiccuped from speaking so fast, “She’s not breathing, sir! Please help me!” Silent tears were streaming down his face, and the old man knew this was legitimate. In a matter of seconds, the gentleman was dressed and rushing with Killian to the room beside theirs. “Dial 9-1-1, son.” The old man huffed as he checked the girl for signs of life. Killain did so, trying not to break out in hysterics.

After a few moments of panic, Killian found himself in an ambulance with a bunch of strangers and an unconscious Jamie. Taking deep breaths, he answered all he could about the girl, awkwardly admitting they had met the night before. The EMT’s did not seem to care, which soothed Killian, so he remained calm as they revived her. “She’s back!” When the EMT finally said this, his stomach flipped in joy. She wasn’t dead. She’s alive. Phew, she’s alive. He tried to wear a little smile, but he was still so very scared. Scared for this girl’s life. Running his hands through his hair, he attempted to calm down. The next few moments went by in a blur. A lot of yelling, rushing, wheeling of Jamie’s limp body, and stares. Killian bit his lip and followed a doctor who was only a little shorter than he into the ICU room where Jamie was and sat, listening to what the doc had to say about Jamie’s attempted suicide. The doctor seemed nice; he patted Killian on the shoulder a few times and called him ‘son’ a lot. Leaving him, the man suggested that he rest in the chair he was situated in “... and your lady friend will be better in no time, son.” Taking a glance at Jamie, the doctor then left the room, leaving the two young people alone. Breathing deep, Killian fell asleep to the rhythmic bleeping of the heart monitor.

Bright, sterile; that’s the only description of the room Killian could give. It’s aroma was of bleach and sorrow, and he could feel both of them seeping into his system. Trying to sleep in a crappy little chair like the one he was situated in was nearly impossible, but sleep was not on his mind right now. He just woke up. Hands clamped and slouched over, he shook his head subtly at his ignorance. How could he not have seen it coming? It would have been nearly impossible to guess, for Jamie seemed such a lively soul, but in fact, she wanted to be quiet the opposite of lively. Looking up to the bed, he saw her, unconscious and peaceful. The girl he had just had such a fun time with the evening before was hooked up to cables and tubes. It made her look so very restricted. Leaning his head back and sighing, Killian stared at the ceiling; begging for a fragment of fun in waiting. He knew when she woke up (well, he should say if, but that would break his heart to do so), she’d be disappointed, for it was a blatant suicide attempt. Killian, though, would be so very relieved. He wondered deeply what had caused her to become so depressed to try and kill herself. Maybe it was something he said? He was known to say something in jest, but it would be taken far too seriously. But Jamie always seemed to like what he said, and vice versa. Letting his blueish green eyes travel to the busy hallway outside of the ICU, Killian saw everyone doing their business with a determined look on his face, not even aware of the pain and melancholy that filled this hospital to it’s brim. A tall doctor who looked vaguely familiar looked at him and nodded a greeting. Killian did likewise and looked away. A few moments later, the door was knocked on and the aforementioned doctor trotted into the room with an odd grace for one of his build (which was much like Killian’s, except doctor was a tad shorter). “Hello, son.” The doctor cooed, his voice showing his age immediately. “How’s she doing?” He asked as he walked up to Jamie, poking her, prodding her, and messing with the machine she was hooked up to. “Not sure, doctor. She’s been, well...” he scratched his head and crinkled his eyebrows. “Quiet.” He knew his words sounded absolutely moronic, but the doctor just laughed and chirped “That’s what I thought.” His smile quickly diminished, and this instantly sent a shot of terror up his spine, but it was a false alarm. “She looks good to me. Should be waking up any time now.” His smile was jovial, but his eyes showed concern. The doc yet again walked out of the room, giving a caring look to Killian as he left. Hoping, wishing, praying she’d wake up soon, he kept his muscles tense, jaw clenched, and eyes dead on her. Looking for any sign of livelihood, Killian did not give up hope, but felt a pang of guilt. The recurring thought was back: Was this all his fault?

Notes: D: Poor Killamieeee!
Words: 1,087
Other: I LUHH THIS THREAD ALREADY!

[JAMIE N CHYRON]

That's how she knew it was a failure. The sounds she heard. As if hearing them wasn't enough, she knew the aoudn well enough from TV dramas and visting people in the hospital; her heart, displayed on the screen, it's loud, obnoxious, and sadly repetitive sound going off in her head, an indicator of her failure, of still being a live. She made no movement for a while, just listened to herself. (What a silly thing to say, really, it sounded so moronic.) But then she became a little more aware of her body. "Shit," she moaned. Her body felt atrophyed, like a trainwreck. Her voice was not her voice, it was a rasped and sad attempt at a voice, gravelly and dry. She didn't want to feel her body. She'd probably had her stomach pumped, or something. It was terrible, this aware soreness all over her, and it was in her bones too, like bruises all over her frail body. Torture, that's what it was. And she stretched then, but pipes around her protested. She should have guessed about the IV and stuff. She just sighed at this, and relaxed. Then she noticed the breathing next to her, and her eyes flew open, and she turned her head. Killian. She squeezed her eyes close again. "Shiiit..." she said once more. Her throat was adjusting a little, this time her voice wasn't so terrible.

I lied, I lied, I lied, I lied. Sometimes stars looked cool, bright and obnoxious. Other times, they were fading away. It wasn't that interesting, but some of her theories she liked to keep a secret, so she had something left to give in the end. Like that something great came out of terror, our of tradgedy. Like in New Orleans, when they were hit by that monstrours hurricane, even though there was debt and destruction, people benefited. Survivors were shipped out of the Louisiana, and their veiws broadened considerably. When all they had known was killing, and welfare, and poverty, they know knew there were choices to this. That was not the way everyone lived. And a more contemporary, timeless, example was a forest fire. Forests could start fires themselves, in such a funny way. And there were ashes after death, and everything was dead. But it was dormant. And then brilliant life would occur in such a monumental way. In a breathtaking, astounding, thought provoking sequence. Maybe it was a silly thought, but her heart fluttered slightly (setting the moniter into a tizy, with it's noises squawking like a flock of flustered pidgeons.) as she turned her head from Killian, in shame almost, that the same would reflect onto her situation, that something great would come from this terrible thing that she had done, that she had dragged him into. She hadn't counted on living.

Lord, what does it take to die. How long, what is left to give? She breathed in a rasped breath. She felt like she had been dragged by bulls, or hit by a bus. This was a hangover a hundred times over. By know the doctors knew she had woken up, and they came in to talk to her. She glared at their stark white scrubs, and the nurses with their cheery patterns. Hate swelled in her like bile, coursing up her throat. She had a determined look on her face that was comical considering how breakable she looked in the impersonal hospital bed. "And how are you, Miss Chyron?" Shit, they knew her name? That meant her brother probably knew... this couldn't get worse, and it was worse that she thought that it couldn't get worse. "I am fine. Go away." Her words were carefully enunciated, and chopped, her jaw clenched and held in the tightest of positions. The doctor's face was panged for a moment, but he nodded. She guessed this was normal for the suicidal. Yes, don't make me resent you, was probably what they thought of her. Resent was the worst thing you'd want from a victum. Or something. A loss. She didn't know what she was. They closed the door, thankfully.

There was no putting it off, she knew. And that was the worse part. His prescence in the room was terrible, pulsating around her and growing with every baited breath she heard him take. Maybe I can ignore him a little longer, maybe I can hold this off....? No, she couldn't. But this wasn't about anything. He'd probably hate her. He was staying out of guilt, and then he'd leave, want this crazy, fucked up girl out of his life. She'd been leading herself on, deluding herself into her fancy little daydreams. "Stupid, silly girl," she chided herself (unknowingly) outloud. "Even when you try to disappear, you can't run away from problems." While her lips closed on the 's' she noticed her mistake. She turned her head over to him finally, and her bottom lip trembled, her muscles sliding along like a tidal wave. "Sorry..." she whispered the word, it was just a caress of air flowing out of her mouth. But it held heartache. Heartsickness, heartbreak. This is where he would leave. Look at her in disgust, and say "You should be!" and leave. And then she would cry, and the doctors would worry, and then someone would probably have to watch her all the time for a suicide alert, although it wasn't like she hadn't already tried that. And she wouldn't again, it wasn't worth the risk of everything that she had on her now then the benefit it would have wreaped. She had her head turned towards him now, but she was looking down at the clean, stark blankness of the sheet underneath her. She felt naked in the backless hospital dress. She clenched her fists by her sides, like it gave her some control over her body. Stupid, silly girl.

OOC;;</3

[KILLIAN I. HUMPHREY]

Was she really awake, or was this some kind of sick joke his mind was playing on him? No, it was real; she was in a foul, difficult mood (as she very well should be) and was curt to the doctors who saw her awake, as well. Killian just stared blankly at her fatigued frame. She was so very delicate and vulnerable looking in this state of semi-consciousness. Allowing a small smile to appear on his face, he waited to speak until she spoke to him. Her irritable side was not one Killian would like to be on, for she was strong willed and could (and would) take on anyone who defied her. As she thought out loud, he was instantly worried. This girl was such a mess, she needed someone to be there for her. And if he walked out on her, like he would have if it were any other random chick he’d met the night before, she would be miserable. Coughing mildly, Killian stood up slowly, making sure not to make himself feel dizzier than he did from all that had happened in such a short time. He wanted this girl to know he cared and wouldn’t leave her alone in the hospital like others might have.

Her words were raspy and croaky, but they worked good enough for the time being. Her apology sounded sincere and pure, and something inside of him made him want to run up to her and smother her with a hug. But that was unnecessary at a time like this. Or would it be? He was undecided, so he just stood there for a moment. She probably thought he was going to depart angrily, but he was just at a loss for words. Nothing like this had happened to him in all of his docile and relatively easy life. Not knowing what to do, he went with the idea he had previously thought of. He ran up to her and embraced her lightly, making sure not to hurt her fragile body. Remembering she had apologized, he whispered into her ear mid-hug “It’s alright, sweetie.” He knew not why he called her sweetie, he just did. To make her feel better? To let her know that Killian the stranger cared? Either way, he did. “I’m just glad you are alive.” He let go of her and held clasped her hand in both of his.

Taking a deep breath, he stretched his long leg out behind him, hooked the chair, and brought it nearer to the bed that Jamie was situated in. He sat, her hand still in his, and pursed his thin lips. He had to admit, after a while those annoying heart monitor bleeps became reassuring noises that this girl was still alive and breathing. “I have so much to talk to you about...” he started quietly, looking at her petite hand. “But now is not an appropriate time.” He closed his mouth slowly, breathing in while doing so and letting his lungful of air expel though his nasal passages. Looking up to her weary eyes with his own fatigued ones, he let a weak smile creep onto his face. “How is that fabulous hospital gown working for you?” His joke was silly and was meant to raise her mood, but he had his doubts on whether or not she would take it well.

Clapping his hands between hers, Killian stood up and proudly stated, “I am hungry.” Then a confused look was planted on his face. “But I have to use the facilities.” He bit his lip and pointed at her. “After I do my business, Jamie, I will get us food.” Not even bothering to wait to see if she even wanted food, he bolted to the doorway and chirped “I will be back!” and let himself perform an elaborate bow. As he rose again, he gave Jamie a flirty wink and jumped out of the door and into the busy hallway. Trotting up to the nurses’ station, Killian quickly asked where the restroom was, and was told it was down the hall a few paces. Thanking the nurse and sauntering down the hallway he finally found the blatantly marked restroom. He could have easily found it if he actually took the time to look; but he was just so glad Jamie had waken from her state of unconsciousness. After he did his business, Killian washed his hands and looked at himself in the mirror. What a mess. He looked like he had just been rolling around on the ground, for his hair was everywhere. His friends home in Portland would have affectionately teased him and call it ‘sex hair’. That’s just how his friends were. Immature, yet so very awesome. He attempted to fix it to the best of his ability and left the restroom and went back into the maze-like hospital.

Trotting to the elevator, he went to the ground floor and followed the signs that led to the cafeteria. Upon reaching it, he saw it was as big as the whole first floor of a house. Huge. Well, then again he was in the city. The big, bad city. Standing in line, he gathered a few curious looks from people he presumed were following the Shameless tour (as they were teenage girls and donned band shirts). As the line thinned down, Killian read the board. It was about noon; prime lunch time for people. What did he want to get for Jamie? Sure, he knew what he wanted, a soda and a salad, but what would she want? A salad like me? But that also may give off a bad vibe, like, calling her fat or something. The burgers look absolutely putrid and look like they could send her back into unconsciousness, so no. His thoughts were incredibly jumbled, but he then had an epiphany.

Grilled Cheese! Everyone (who wasn’t lactose intolerant) liked grilled cheese, right? He smiled as he ordered two sodas, a plain salad, and a grilled freakin’ cheese! He payed the cashier with an excited smile and stumbled back up to the room, enjoying the view in the elevator while he arose. Missing the floor he was supposed to get off on, he waited for the rest of the people to get out (which took about ten minutes) and pressed the button to get to the floor he needed to be on. Scampering out right as the door opened, he hoped the food wasn’t getting cold. Tiptoeing down the hall, making sure not to upset the goods, he clicked open the door to Jamie’s room with his elbow and shut it with his rather large foot. Smiling widely as he saw Jamie again, he childishly stated “I got food.” Yeah, this was so incredibly obvious, but he did not care. Placing the food on the beside table for her, he said “I hope you like grilled cheese.” He then added, for kicks, “I bet it’s really good. It smells...” he faltered. “... cheesy.” He had an awkwardly confused look on his face as he sat down. Kissing his hand in a fake-Italian way, he giggled “Bon Appetit!” and took a bite out of his green, leafy salad.

Notes: AH. I LOVE HIS AWKTASTICNESS!
Words: 1,207 <3
Other: Sorry it took so long, Serendear. Was watching politics with my dad. Slow Dance with a Stranger made reply MUCH quicker, though.

[JAMIE N CHYRON]

She swore her heart burst out of her skin when he hugged her. She would bet money that it had hopped right into his shirt pocket and hitchhiking along with him to the bathroom. (She loved the way he said it 'facilities,' it made her giggle.) And she didn't want to let go of him either, but she just sighed. She didn't want anything to eat. She just wanted to sleep again, but then again, she didn't. She wanted to relax, mainly. Just lay back and listen to the hum of Killian's voice. She didn't need anything else. he was staying, and he had held her hand. Her hands. It was like this relazation just jumped out at her. She held her right hand up for closer inspection, like it held some kind of secret code in the wrinkes of her hand print. Then she put it back down, realizing how silly she looked. And laughed to herself. But then she was getting agitated. Was he taking a long time, or was it just her? She started to worry, and had to take deep breaths to keep her heart down, she didn't want to alert anyone. She didn't like this though. Both the fact that he wasn't back, and that she cared so much. Because he would invariably leave at some point. And she had to keep that fact like a leash on her heart, to keep it from jumping on her sleeve.

He finally came back, and when he did, her heart made an audible jump in frequency, pounding on her chest, which hurt and felt weak from everything that had happened. She took a little wheeze breath and pressed her fingertips delicately on her collarbone, like that would contain her unruly organ. "Welcome back..?" the way she said it was unsure. She decided it would be better to whisper things. "You didn't have to get me anything, I don't want to eat right now." She didn't say she wasn't hungry, she didn't want to lie again. But in her condition, she just didn't really want to eat at all. She looked at the food, and her stomach had a moment of discretion. She felt like she would throw up if she had a bite though, so she just left it be.

She knew she had to fess something up. This was the point where she was supposed to. It was just that picturesque moment for it. She scooted up in bed, wincing as the IV tugged at the crook of her elbow. She looked down as she got comfortable, and wrung her hands in the bed sheet, picking at it awkwardly. "Um, so, I-I guess..." she whispered, and her tone dropped off. She didn't know what to say. She felt her eyes well up, and she wiped a shaky finger under one of them. He was just, so, ahh, Killian! SHe couldn't help it, and a smile formed out on her thin lips. She loved him too much, she knew. It was a poison in her blood. She couldn't think of anything to do, or say. It was terrible, and she wanted to scream her lungs out at it. "It's, it's not, your... that's a lie. I don't want to lie to you again. It really wasn't your fault. You just made me make the decision. I, uh, told you before. Just want to disappear. My life wasn't... right." She couldn't look at him. One tear freed itself from her eye and slid down her sallow cheek bone, dripping along the edge of her cheek. She wanted him to hug her again.

OOC;; OMG ¢¾¢¾

[KILLIAN I. HUMPHREY]

As she welcomed him back, Killian smiled and shrugged. “Thanks; I’m glad to be back, truthfully. That cafeteria is as busy as hell.” He pushed a puff of breath out of his lips in exasperation. Shrugging off her saying she wasn’t hungry, he mumbled “It’s for if you get hungry.” He enunciated the word ‘if’ with a sharp but friendly accent. He was still tired from what had happened earlier, and he could easily tell that she was too. Part of him wanted her to go back to bed; to get some much-needed rest. But another part of him wanted to keep her up; to make sure she’s alive and would stay that way. In a world of such immaculate pain, everyone needed someone to be there for them, and Killian had been chosen, in a sense, to be there for Jamie in her time of need, and she obviously needed someone. He wondered if she had any family that would come and see her, as well. Did they know? Should he ask Jamie if he should call her relatives? Not knowing, he just kept quiet while munching savagely on his salad and downing his soda quickly. Staring at her slowly cooling grilled cheese, the spouts of steam simmering from the sandwich had disappeared, much like the girl’s spunky attitude. They had done some violent looking procedures to Jamie to help save her life; things that looked like they would kill her rather than revive her petite, limp body. He could understand why she did not want to eat.

Most people, including Killian himself, would not want to down a sandwich and soda after what she had just been through. Realizing he had eaten all of his meal in a matter of minutes, he felt like a pig and he hoped the girl did not mind. He thought about if he were in her situation. He’d want a cup of tea, so soothe his stomach. But then again Killian liked to eat and could eat all he wanted to, for his metabolism was so very high. Biting his lip, he thought what his parents, siblings, and friends would say if they knew Killian was in the situation Jamie was in. They’d be in the hospital in a matter of hours, acquiring many speeding tickets on the way down to New York. Even though his parents and sisters did not like him much, they wouldn’t want him to be rotting alone in a hospital with no one to care for him.

Well, there was an exception to Marnie, who absolutely loathed him at the moment, but he still would like to think she would come and see him in the hospital, anyway. She would seethe in the corner, but she would still be there for her ailing brother. Digressing into many other thoughts, he thought of the last time he saw his family. It had not been a long time, but it was still a while. The placid looks on their faces seemed to dissipate when they saw their oldest child (and their only son) come back home looking mature and clean. It was a gratifying feeling, seeing them happy and it only lasted for a few days, but it was still worth it. He picked up his hand from his side and rubbed his eyes, lost in retrospect. His thoughts always dwindled on into nonsense, but he liked the feeling of trailing so far off subjects that he brought of fond (or not so fond) memories from his past on the rocky coast of Portland.

Coming out of his reminiscent state, Killian flicked his eyes up to Jamie. She had started talking, and did not sound even remotely happy. Oh, God. She was almost crying. Clamping his top lip between his teeth sharply, he froze. What was there to do? Her words were faint and slow, but he focused on them like his life depended on it. I made her make the decision? Oh, damn. His eyes widened as he looked up to the ceiling and ran his hand through his messy hair. It was his fault (well, basically; but basically still counted, right?) Standing up, Killian tried to find the right words to say, but they were lost out in the foggy bay, just like his sanity. Acting on instinct, he slowly walked up to her. This would be complicated to do so spontaneously, but he felt the need to so very much.

Taking her face in his hands, he crouched down to her eye level. “Jamie.” He breathed her name like he was so very fatigued. “I am so so sorry I made you do that. If I’d have known, I would have tried to precent it to the best of my ability.” He smiled that little crooked smile of his. “You’re such a wonderful girl. Don’t let life get you down; you’re too special.” Tenderly wiping the little tears off from her face, he then kissed her. “I know we don’t know each other that well, but I’ll always be here for you if you are feeling down... or if you just want to hang out, for that matter.” He nodded and embraced her in another long, sweet hug. Killian was now linked to this girl in more than just the way that they were both in Shameless. He had basically saved her life and he felt a little protective of her now. Such feelings were meant to be felt for a girlfriend or at least a lifetime friend, but he saw that she needed someone to befriend, and he was there to catch her when she fell (or jumped, for that matter).

He thought he was a good friend, and figured she would be a good friend, as well. Definitely fun when she wanted to be, no doubt in that. A sudden chill came through his body as he realized he was incredibly cold. He usually was never cold, per se. Just chilly or something, but not usually this cold; he was shivering. In a matter of seconds he figured it must have been the fact he was seeing a friend in so much emotional pain and the temperature in the frigid hospital combined. Awkward little things like that always happened to Killian, for he was an awkward person (but he couldn’t help it). Sighing, he was not sure what to do, so he just stood, thinking about all the things he had done like this, but none came to mind. Blankly staring at the heart monitor that Jamie was hooked up to, he bit his lip and sat back down. He was too sorry for words on how he essentially caused her suicide attempt.

Notes: YOUNG LOVE. ♥♥
Word Count: 1,120.
Muse: Listened to Lullabies - All Time Low the whole time I wrote.
Other: ♪ siiiiiiing meeee tooooo sleeeeppp; I'll seeeee you in myyyy dreammms.

[JAMIE N CHYRON]

There was a problem with what he said. Friends was just as bad as nothing, because everyday her heart would ache as she watched him go and be him. It was last night all over again, but now there was no escape from the truth this time. And maybe she could stop it. Yes, that seemed like it could be the answer. He wiped her face, and leaned to kiss her. Was it just her, or could you hear her heart beat faster on the monitor? He started to pull away from her, and she grabbed his shirt by the neck, keeping him close to her face. He could break away so easily, but she knew he wouldn’t. He was Killian, and that counted for something... right? I’ll always be here for you if you are feeling down... or if you just want to hang out, for that matter. She blinked slowly, looking at him. Her heart hurt looking at his pretty eyes. Did he think her eyes were pretty? She hoped so. Did he think all of her was pretty, even the bad parts? She hoped for that too. She had a mental sigh. She got so easily distracted sometimes. ”But what if I want more, Killian? Did you think about that?” It was one thing to tolerate emotions, a totally different thing to tolerate them. But, what it your emotions only tolerated you? What if they exploded in your thin chest like fireworks, huge, like gasoline was lining the sinews of your chest, and the flesh and blood with it. Sparks of fire igniting in that cavity, breaking against the ligaments and muscles that made you who you were. What if emotions were something that made you laugh, made you never want to cry, never want to die. What if they made you only want yo cry, only want to die? She was so enraptured by her emotions, they played her like a puppet. And now her emotions, every atom in her fucking body, wanted Killian. And how could she deny it that? As if to emphasize what she told him, she pulled him a little closer, and brought their lips back together. This time she knew she heard her heart monitor spazz out. She was happy doing this, could do it forever.

OOC;;</3

[KILLIAN I. HUMPHREY]

He was being pulled in by this hospitalized siren. There was something so irresistible about this girl, Killian just couldn’t help it. The way she does whatever she does made Killian so elated. She, with the intravenous interfering a tad, resumed kissing him. The ease of falling for Jamie was amazing. It was as second nature as breathing. Time seemed to falter for a minute as they passionately embraced, the heart monitor blipping rapidly and the neon green lines on the monitor were having some sort of spasm. No one cared, though. And if they did, they had enough courtesy to not walk into a room of kissing people. Especially when one of the people had tried to commit suicide not even twenty-four hours before. Common sense came into play, there. After a while, Killian released himself from Jamie. Not much more kissing could be done without doing it, and that would be a little complicated (and completely awkward) in a hospital. Her soft words made him smile, falling for her naivety even more. Lifting her chin, he crookedly smiled and murmured “I’ve thought about that more than you probably think I have.” He gently let go of her chin and ran his hands through his hair, this habit never seemed to leave him. He suddenly had this immense urge to sing to her. A little bold, yes, but he had the perfect song conjured up in his mind. Granted, he was not Caleb Flamme with his own vocals, but he was good. Smiling, he randomly commented “You know, I can play the guitar.” This comment wasn’t necessarily directed to Jamie, but she was there, and she would surely listen. He nodded, further proving himself competent of playing the guitar. Putting his hands in his pockets, he sat in the faux leather chair and huffed out a large amount of air from his lips. He pondered Jamie for a bit. Man, she was unlike any other girl he had met. He was just so surprised that she decided to pick him instead of some party guy. He then started wondering. Was he just some little experiment Jamie was conducting? Trying out a goody two shoes guy for a change? Killian could not believe this, so he rid the though from his ever-thinking mind. But it was still nagging in the back of his brain. So, he went for it. “Jamie…” He started. “What about me attracts you?” He shrugged. “I’m not an exciting or crazy guy.” He squinted. “I’m…” Faltering, Killian was at a loss for words. “I’m boring.” Taking a deep breath, he thought of what made him like Jamie the way he does. One, she was so beautiful. Two, she was so interesting. He couldn’t get enough of her vivid personality. She was like a wildfire; her heat and energy was nearly impossible to put out. Killian wanted so very badly whisk her away to anywhere but here and just be with her. Surely Killian had not been this in love with any other girl, and he knew it. It felt good feeling so irregular. What would become of the two after Jamie leaves the hospital, he knew not, but he hoped and prayed it would be good. He also wondered what his bandmates would think of this coupling? Would Caleb and Min laugh in his face? Or would they be happy? What would the gossipers think? What would the other Shameless contenders think? Truthfully, Killian could not give a damn even if he tried, but the plain curiosity was too large to overlook. All in all, he just wanted to be with Jamie, and no one else.

[JAMIE N CHYRON]

Her heart, she swore, skipped five beats as he pulled back, grasping her chin gently, with that touch that she imagined only he could have. It made her feel more alive then the machinery indicated. Was this why she was here? Was she getting what she wanted after all this time? She sighed, and touched her own cheek gently, like a lingering trail of heat was on her lower jaw. ”Mhm..” She mumbled, absentmindedly, like she was on auto-pilot. To be honest, her mind was otherwise occupied, er, distracted. His presence in the room swelled against her, like a pulse, like it was throbbing against her fragile heart. Daring her to try to touch it. And Jamie was never one to turn down a dare. ”You’re not boring... per se. Maybe that’s what makes you interesting. But you’re not two-dimensional, like the so-called ‘non boring’ people. How many legit fascinating people are you going to find where I roam around, Killian? None. Just people looking to get wasted. And so, I guess that doesn’t make me interesting either.” She sighed then. She didn’t want to push him away, she had a feeling that’s what she was doing. And she didn’t want that, she wanted him to stay with her forever, if he could. If he wanted too. (He wouldn’t.)

”I don’t want it anymore. I tried to heal myself,” She looked at herself, the thin mountains lurking under crisp, inhuman hospital sheets. ”Obviously, self-medication wasn’t what I needed. And you, you were so irresistable. I wanted to know, I wanted to know everything. I wanted to know what made you tick.” The want was evident in her voice, you could practically hear her vocal chords straining with the primal need. ”And it was worth it. For a moment. Until I realized how out of the ordinary it was for you. You would never want me, in another situation. What am I to you, but some street rat, something you would kick out of your way.” Don’t cry, don’t cry, she chided herself. And she didn’t. Her voice just grew more and more agitated. She could feel heat bubbling under neath her skin, like lava under the earth’s crust. ”And I knew it wasn’t worth fantasizing over. You wouldn’t want to help. If you were smart, you still wouldn’t...” She sighed again. Please don’t be smart...

”I don’t know anything about how to live. Or even how to survive. I just know how to hide.” SHe looked back at his face. She liked his face, there was kindness in it. She liked the way his eyebrows arched. It was amazing, how could he think he was boring? She just wanted him to suffocate her, she wanted him to overwhelm her. Hold her tight, and never let got. Her arms were itching to grab him, like millions of bugs running up and down them. How easy it would be. But she wouldn’t do it. ”You’re in control of your life.” She laughed, trying to lighten the suddenly dour mood she had invited in. That’s sexy.” She grinned at him. God, she wanted this so bad. She wanted to leave the hospital with him, have him forever. She wanted it so bad. It was like a starved animal in her chest, chorusing against the jail-bars of her ribs. And she was ready to feed it. What a stupid idea it was, but oh, how she wanted it, how she wanted to.

OOC;;</3

[KILLIAN I. HUMPHREY]

Can'tstop Won't stop
• • • • i must be dreaming

Letting her words soak in like the summer sun’s rays to his skin, Killian laced his lanky fingers through her delicate ones. His eyes wandered around the room, bored with the off-white shade of the walls, the wires and tubes, and the sickeningly clean smell of a hospital. The only thing that kept him from going insane was Jamie’s warm hand clasped with his. It was a funny thing, he thought. Their relationship had came on so quick. It was kind of odd to Killian, for love was a foreign language that he was lost in translation with. Yes, he had loved others before, but not in the way he felt for Jamie. Holding her hand was making his heart skip a few beats, embarrassingly. He liked this feeling; it was a great thrill. He hoped and prayed that she felt the same way for him, or he would have given out more affection than he ever had all for nothing. But he had this giddy little feeling that she liked him back.

His words were soft and kind. “You are by no means boring. And getting wasted? That is just a minor little thing.” He waved his free hand away lightheartedly. “I like you no matter what you do.” He smiled widely. “You are daring, yet sweet.” He nodded to back himself up even more. “And I like that a lot.” He averted his eyes from her. “I like you a lot.”

He looked back to her. Did she just call him irresistible? Did she really just call me irresistible? Holy shit. He thought giddily. His toes tingled in that silly love struck sort of way. His mind was going berserk and listened to her speak, though he was thoroughly distracted and stuck in a land of eternal glee. ‘I wanted to know what made you tick’ she said. Heh. I’d like to get to know what makes you tick. He thought, his mind going from loving to loving and lusting. What a mix. When she started to falter and look sad, Killian snapped back to reality.

“No, no, no, no, no!” He quickly stammered as he rose from his seat, still clamping onto her hand. “You are by no means a street rat.” He stroked her soft, dark brown hair and brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear, exposing her whole face. Her jaw line was sharp and elegant, as was the rest of her face. “You are a diamond to me. You’re gorgeous, incredibly valuable to me, and I’d definitely consider showing you off to all of my friends.” He smiled and winked at her, hoping his awkward flirting would improve her mood. The last thing they both needed was for her to be sad again. He sighed and looked up. “Well.” He started, still in mid-sigh. “I guess I will have to pass up this opportunity to be smart.” He subtly smiled, still examining the cottage cheese ceiling. Looking back to her, he nodded. Her words were so very relatable. Hiding is so easy, but living is so hard. It clearly should be the other way around. But it isn’t, which really sucks.

When Jamie stared into his eyes like that, he wanted to whisk her away right then and there. He had wanted to do this before, but this time the urge was nearly unbearable. The only reason why he did not do this is due to the fact that if he took her, her wires and tubes would have to come along for the ride. And those would clearly get in the way. As she mumbled something about being control of his life and that being sexy, he burst out laughing (in good humor, of course). “Well, mademoiselle Chyron.” He stated. “You are spontaneous and do whatever you please with your life.”He cocked his head and arched his eyebrows. “And that is far, far sexier.” Talking like this added fuel to the fire that was inside of him, making him need her even more, but he tried to curb his craving a tad by thinking of where they actually are. A hospital definitely lessens sex appeal.

Killian wanted so dearly to take a peek into the future and see if Jamie was anywhere in it. Hopefully she was. He could just see the two of them cuddling together back in his Maine home, watching the snow tumble down from the heavens and pile up four feet. They could run out onto the lawn and have a snowball fight, her sweet face bundled up in a hat and scarves. Ah, his fantasy was bittersweet, for he knew that he would not get to settle back in Maine for a long, long time. Shameless was going to change his life, no matter if they win or lose it. Caution Tape was good, no doubt, and would get a record deal in a snap of one’s fingers. Caleb and Min singing together was the ultimate pleasure one’s ears could get. Killian wished he could have nearly as much talent as them. But he could settle, no doubt. He was a settling kind of guy. Except for when it came to love. He would not settle for anything other than Jamie, and he wanted to convey this message to her by the cutesy and awkwardly flirty little gestures he did. She may or may not notice this, but he hoped she saw it as something besides awkward. Awkward was surely not the thing he was looking to be (but this was clearly inevitable. Killian is not too experienced in love.).

Twitching his head to get hair out of his face, he dared not to let go of her hand. He liked the feeling of it. She reminded him of home with how she was so warm and comfortable to be around. Her smile made him blush like a lovesick fool, her looks were far more stunning than any wonder of the world, and her personality was as labyrinthine yet intriguing as a maze. He really wished there were somewhere other than this dumb hospital. He was dismayed a bit when a brightly attired nurse bounced into the room, forcing Killian to release Jamie’s hand so this lady could poke and prod her to no end. It pained him to see this. Jamie did not deserve to be treated like a pincushion. He could only imagine her pain and suffering. But then again Killian had this pathological fear of needles. Bad experiences when he was younger made him absolutely petrified of them. Apparently his veins are very deep and hard to locate. Those words from the nurse that day were blatantly obvious when she had to fish around his flesh with the needles for the fifth time. It got to the point that they had to call in another nurse (a more experienced nurse) to extract the blood from his veins (Killian thanked his lucky stars for this). Needless to say, this experience added onto the reasons why he hated hospitals. Other than the fact they were ridden with death and despair, there were so many little things about hospitals that pissed him off to no end. Like the food. Hospital food blows. No lying, there. Also, the nurses that are angry, old, overweight, and smokers. Really? Smoking hospital workers? That is a paradox that Killian will never grasp. The aforementioned nurse flitted about the room, tittering loudly about how she had this wonderful pastrami sandwich at the café and how her children have the flu. Oh, great. Thought Killian. Come in here after tending your flu infested children. How considerate. He was becoming sour after the nurse came in. She ruined their romantic moment and he resented her for doing so. Sighing loudly (and rudely) as she rambled, Killian looked back up to the ceiling. The nurse, getting the hint from the annoyed boy, hurried up her job quickly and jumped out of the room.

Finally, Killian thought. He looked immediately to Jamie. “I hope she did not hurt you. Those needles can bruise your skin sometimes.” He murmured, worried for her. “Trust me.” He blurted. “They can bruise pretty bad.” He smiled, taking hold of her hand and squeezing it gently in affection again. He pursed his lips and asked Jamie seriously. “What are you going to do when you get out of here, Jamie?” He wondered if she would call her family or come with Killian somewhere. Hopefully the second, he thought, butterflies flittering in his stomach.

Notes: Hoooolaayyy shat. Long post. I likeeee.
Words: 1,424 !!!!!
More Useless Notes: I love Jamie/Seren. (: KILLAMIE FTW.

[JAMIE N CHYRON]

His words were soothing, but she held of a response as the nurse came in, held her breath and looked away as the woman tittered off about her children, and life. Poking at yeilding skin, and then the slice of the metal. Jamie's head suddenly felt very light, and then another sting as the iv came out. More prodding, and she was uncontained yet again. "You can go ahead and get dressed now, honey. Your clothes are there on the chair. Just be sure to check out." She smiled in that motherly way. Killian told her about brusing. "Um, yea, I know." SHe laughed awkwardly. She knew too well. But that was a part of life she wasn't keen on revisiting. He held her hand. His hand was so warm. She sat up, letting her legs dangle off the bed, just inches from the ground. Not too fast, she knew. She'd probably fall again. She leaned forward, Killian still in the seat. The backless hospital dress bothered her. She leaned her forhead against him, and smiled. "Whatever you want."

She sat back up, and pulled the curtain to the bed, cutting him off from her completely as she changed back. Great, now she would look like a fucking slut to the boy, with the tank top that tied in the back, loose fitting and skimpy. And the too-tight jeans. She didn't have a jacket, must have forgotten that one in the ambulence run. She leaned back against the bed. Maybe he could see her silhouette. Either way, maybe it was evident, how she leaned forward, and buried her had in her hands for a moment. If only there was no Shameless Tour for now. Killian could just whisk her away to whatever suburb-paradise he had come from, and take her away from everything that insisted on her destruction.

Moment of weakness over, she leaned back up, and walked back outside the bed, leaning subtly against it, back in front of Killian. "So, I guess I'll go back tot he bus, or something. Or something. Or unless you still want me.." She way she said it, it wasn't nearly was provocative as the statement itself was.

OOC;;blaaah. faaailfailfailFACE.