.GLITTER IN THE AIR

[MINERVA L TRESCOTT]

( - SO CRUEL, SO CRUEL - )
( - SHE NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU - )

When you wake up the morning after your heart has been broken, your entire body is sore, like you've been punched a couple of times. Or mugged, maybe. Minerva never would have guessed that pain like this would have been so tangible. She was too ignorant to know that anything could hurt you so physically besides something physical. And she had branched herself off from any pain, so she was not so sure what to make of all of it. Her hands were shaking, and she was so cold. She had barely slept at all. And even now, when she woke, it was still dark out. But she needed to get up. She needed to write. And so she did. She had no music, but she remembered a bit of an instrumental that she and everyone had played with when they were bored. There were no words to it, but every member knew each note, each pause, each dip of their instrument by heart. And even now she could feel it surging through her veins, mingling with her blood. She knew every slow part, every guttural rise and every fall. This riff was something that was familiar to everyone. And now it was time to let the riff have it's moment to shine, and to let Min keep her sanity.

( - ABOLITION, ANARCHISM, WHAT IS CAUSING THIS CONFUSION? - )

There is something electric about a stage. Especially one encrusted by hundreds of people, waiting for you to sing. They know everything you do, and keep up with your life in a scary sort of way. They wish that they could walk along by you, and take a good note of every breath you inhale, every bane of your existence. Energy bounced inside the girl, but no happiness was felt. She was just jittery, like she'd drank too much coffee. Nervous, yes, but not for what the fans were going to say. Today was the day of reckoning. Putting everything to rest. She wondered if he would even show up for this. Maybe he didn't take it seriously anymore. Maybe he would join Devon's band. Maybe they would never sing again. She wondered how she was going to do this song with no back-up vocals. She wondered so many things. She wondered why she couldn't think his name, why it hurt so goddamn much. She wondered why he liked to hurt her so goddamn much. She wondered why she had even opened up to him anyway. He had convinced her so easily that it was worth it to be vulnerable. Looking back, was it? No, they had struggled every step of the way, and now she hurt more then she ever had in her whole life. He had caused her the most pain out of anyone in her life. And yet, she still loved him. And this made her heart hurt in the worst sort of way. She waited patiently for everyone to take the stage. First Killian, with his kind eyes, and then ___, who Min wasn't so familiar with. And finally Caleb. (God, it hurt so much just to think about him. That ache was indescribable.) She acted like she had gotten distracted when he walked onto the stage, as if there was something so much more entertaining then him, that she got caught up in so easily. Her breath hitched in her throat, and she stifled a little sob. God, what an idiot she was. She let him take her over, just like that. How could she have gotten caught up so easily? It was a mystery, even to her. But she took that breath, and tried to figure herself out. Then she walked calmly onstage, darting her head to the side to avoid him, tuning his guitar, and doing Caleb-like things. But she wanted to stare at him, wanted to watch the muscles in his hands as he worked, with everything that he loved. She wanted to study him, and find out why he did the things he did. But it was no longer her job to do anymore. She guessed it was Devon's, like it used to be. (Like it had been the whole time, some part of her wanted to say. But Min did not want to believe this. She wanted to fancy that she had been the sole holder of his heart, for at least a moment in time.) She got to the stage, and turned around, locking eyes with Killian. Please understand. she thought. But she yelled hoarsely over the crowd, "Play the riff!" Then she turned back to the microphone, and spoke gently into it. "Hey, guys," she smiled wryly. She liked this. She kept the playful look on her face while she continued. "My voice might be a little sketchy, did a bit of crying last night, ya'know?" No, they didn't know. But this was how you commanded an audience, and she intended to do it. She waited while the music started, listening to the gentle crescendo. She recognized the point where she would start, she had written it all down into segments the night before. She listned carefully for the right notes, and just five half notes and three quarter notes before she began singing, she leaned into the mic. ”And this is for the goddamn bastard who broke my fucking heart!” Complete with a fist pump. Oh, how silly she felt. But this was what she needed. The first step to treatment maybe? But she left no time for reaction, other then the swoon of the crowd. She began to sing over the gentle thrum of chords. `Think of me when you’re out, when you’re out there. I’ll beg you nice from my knees.’ She would beg him, she wanted to. But this was part of giving him up, she knew. When she sang of knees, she though of something she had heard in school, the test to see if you were a perv: Her knees are always dirty, ‘cuz she get’s the job done. Well, if you based it another way, Min wished her knees were dirty. She wanted to get this over with, wanted him to want her again. Besides, in school, she had always defended the unnamed girl. How do you know she’s not a gardener? `And when the world treats you way too fairly, well it’s a shame I’m a dream…` Was she just a dream to him? She didn’t know, but did it matter, truly? And she hoped that the world never treated him fairly. She hope it twisted him until he cried out in agony. And now when her somber tones came, she could not help but let some of the anger seep in, making a strange tone to the phrase. `All I wanted was you.` Oh, how simple it sounded the way she said it. Oh, how easily she could say it now. She pulled the microphone from the stand, and walked a step away from it. `All I wanted was you.` She held the note a bit, twisting it up, waiting for Caleb’s huge entrance into the song. Ah, there it was, the loud and proud hum of guitar. And that was her cue to continue. `I think I’ll pace my apartment a few times, and fall asleep on the couch. And wake up early to black and white reruns that escape from my mouth. Oh oh, oh oh.` She took a breath. `All I wanted was you.` How many times did she repeat it? So many. Did he get her painful point? She waited for the traumatic rise & fall of his chords before she began again. `I could follow you to the beginning, just to relieve the start. And maybe then we would remember to slow down at all of our favorite parts.` Here was her favorite part, the ending of music. Here came the knife she hoped she could twist. `All I wanted was you.` And then the music began again, and her voice became so powerful, it engulfed her. This was crazy, this feeling that she felt as she repeated the phrase. Did he feel it too, did they feel it? This power that fell out of her mouth, and ont the ground, slithering like a huge boa snake. Or maybe it just lay like glitter in the air, a fistful of fairy dust that she had distributed for everyone. And then the music ended, and with it the magic. She hung her head for a moment, and then dropped the microphone, exiting the stage to it’s angry static. Now was the time to scream, or cry. But instead she felt hollow, like the sound that filled the air. Fill me up, someone fill me up, please,”I’m begging you.”

{ooc;; okay, so the song was all i wanted by paramore. after you post kristen, start a thread backstage where he found her or something. god mod all you want, i dun care. xD }

( - ALL SHE EVER WANTED - )
( - WAS SOMEONE TO LOVE HER TOO - )

[CALEB D FLAMME]

Energy. It floated all around. In the air, in the people in the crowd. It was unstoppable. It was addicting. In the crowd with people where there was no hate. Everyone was here for the music, everyone wanted to be closer and closer. They wanted to be next to the speaker, they wanted to jump and shout. Touch and be with the music, with the band. With Min, with him. They wanted to listen to the music. Part of it made Caleb's stomach drop just like it did every show. Knowing all those people where there for him, for Min, for the music. The knowlegde that people would be staring at him, watching his every action. Watching all of him, wanting to absorb all of him. All that he was. Normally Caleb would hug Min, he would be with her, and be able to joke it all off. But this time he hadn't seen her since that night. He was afraid to face her after everything that had happened with him and Min. It was why he was afraid, and nervous and more then anything. He looked at the stage, where he would be reunited with Min. Minnie? What was he supposed to call her now?

He didn't have time to think about that now though. It was time to walk onto the stage. He did so with a smile on his face, walking over and grabbing his guitar. he looked at the band, they hadn't really talked much. He'd talked to Min mostly. Now that he was on the outs with her, he felt almost like he didn't belong here. When she was on the stage, she walked right past him. Without a look at him, as if his heart wasn't pounding enough because of the crowd and nerves. Adding her there only made it ten times worse. He looked at her, and bit his lip shaking his head. He stared at her, he thought about pausing everything. Walking over to her, and giving her a hug. Before this all started he didn't like performing when things weren't well. Part of him hoped that playing music together being onstage together, would connect their hearts the way it used too. Caleb looked at her, as she spoke too Killian. He tried to connect with Killian. But he didn't want to he looked at her, thinking to himself how much he'd messed up. He didn't react when she cried to the crowd, about how she had cried about how she'd had her heart broken. He just looked at his guitar.

Then the music started and there was nothing else he could do. He played his fingers leading the across the neck of his guitar. The music was loud, and for the first time in his life it was painful. It hurt him so bad. Every echo from the speakers that hit him. Not just like the music rocked him. Everyone of them hit him in the gut. Hit him over and over. The worse part of it all, was that he wanted to cry. He wanted to scream, he wanted to play the music, he wanted to fix everything, mostly though. He wanted the pain to stop. But he was the one who had made the pain, the one who had done all of this. He looked at the crowd, he knew the reason that it hurt was the fact that it he was the one who rocked the speakers. It was his guitar, but no one in the audience knew it was him though. Knew what had happened, so he just smiled and faked it all acting like this was okay like this didn't break his heart. Like he didn't want to die with the pain he could hear in her voice, that he knew was in her heart. It was almost to much to bare in his heart and soul. That he had done that. But just when the pain was at the most he felt it dwindle. He heard the music start to fade. He closed his eyes as they played out as he listened to Min's voice.

The last note rang out for what felt like hours. But really it was only a few moments. When it was done, Caleb could tell Min was about to walk off stage. He shook his head, and looked at Stilson and Killian. "Now," he mouthed the words. He grabbed his mic, "Hey Everyone!" he said with a smile. "I know you think it's all over, but we actually have another song." he said. He looked over at Min. He grabbed some music from his case, and walked over to Min. Looking her straight in the eyes as he walked over to her, with the music. "Minnie," he said looking at her. "Please," he offered her the music. "Stilson can sing if you won't but, it's written for your voice," he told her. He looked at her, "Please do this for me," he begged her, pleading her. He offered her the music, "I love you," he whispered to her. He knew the things he'd said and done were horrible, but he wanted her to know he still loved her. He looked at her and went over to his mic. He closed his eyes strumming his guitar.

He looked at the crowd and started to sing, "Woke up from dreaming, and put on his shoes. Started making his way past 2 in the morning. He hasn't been sober for days." he looked over at Min, he didn't know if she was going to sing or if he would be left out on the lyrics along. He supposed maybe he could skip her part but the song wouldn't be right like that. He looked at the crowd as he sang. He'd written this song with her mind. He thought about all that they'd been threw and how much he loved her. The sorrow in his soul as sang it seemed it all came out of him. Everything until he got to the part where it was her turn. He looked at her, it seemed that everyone in the band had taken a breath. They all were waiting for her too choose. He looked at her, and whispered to himself, and to the world. "I love you," it wasn't picked up by the mic but he mouthed it to her. Hoping she would, understand give him another shot.

[MINERVA L TRESCOTT]

( - I WILL FORCE YOU TO SIT UPRIGHT - )
( - WITH ACCESS TO YOUR HEART - )

She listened to him with closed eyes. The smoothness of his voice, even though he was sad. She had heart him. And while this was a bad thing, it felt like triumph. It was, in a twisted sort of way. She had really gotten what she wanted. She thought she knew this boy, but she knew nothing. She watched his arms from the side of the stage, strumming over his guitar, protectively. She knew he loved that guitar, wanted to keep it safe. Was it true, did he still love her, did he still want to keep her safe? Did he still want to wrap her up in his body-swallowing arms and save her from herself? But she couldn't take what she had seen out of her mind. She knew she was only a second choice by now. And this relaxation made her merciless. His voice was amazing to her. But was he singing about her? This was her question. And what did she say to him in this situation. He wanted her to sing now. But she wouldn't. But she walked over to him, when he mouthed the words at her. "Yes, but do you love me more?" She knew the answer though. She always kind of had. But the thoughts that came in it's wake scared her more then the answer itself. So she just tilted her head to the side. Looked him in the eyes. I trust him with my life, but can I still trust him with my heart? Lord, how she wanted to forget everything. But she couldn't. She did last time, and look what had happened after it. So it was out of the question. And now she looked at him. She pulled a pendant out of the pale pants she wore. (She had gone all out for today, with a pretty turqousise tank top, and vest-like thing, a heart necklace, to take the place of his, a heart bracelet, and heart earrings. It seemed that all she felt was heart ache, and maybe it was finally time to wear her heart on her sleeve.) It was heart shaped, and silver. It was the one he had just given her. But now it was not around her neck, like he had left it. It couldn't have been, she had broken the chain. She laid the pendant in his palm softly. "You have to make a decision, Caleb." She reached deeper into her pocket, and gasped the chain, although it took her fingers a few moments to get a good grasp of it, for all that was left were a few short segments. And on her neck were bruises from the force of ripping it off. Now that she thought about it, there might have been a better way to do that. She let it drop into his hand like liqid gold, piling around the expensive center piece. "All that's left is a broken heart." She felt the thoughts from early fester in her body, fermenting in her muscles and gnarling into her mind. "You want me to do it for you, Caleb?" She said, looking up at him. "Can I give you a checklist of what you have done for me? I'll go backwards, just to clarify things." She didn't know if the mic picked up her voice are not, but the anger and snideness just welshed through her bloodstream, oxygenating every part of her body with a cynic sort of pride. This was her chance to hurt him. She couldn't pass it up. And she would regret it, she knew. But she was too impulsive for her own good, and her emotions ruled her, not the other way around. And they were foaming at the mouth for this. "You left me Devon, I thought, after you cheated on me with her, after you stormed out of the hotel, after I said I didn't deserve it, after you said I deserved better, after I tried to make you happy, after you tried to make me happy, after you tried to make yourself happy, after you saw that I threw a plate at a glass wall, after you picked me up from the airport, after I left because I didn't want you to hear me cry, after I told you I loved you." And here, she broke. Everything left her voice, and it dropped to barely a whisper. She looked down at her hands, balled at her sides, shaking slightly. Suddenly every bit of malevolence left the girl like steam, and she looked back up at Caleb. God, she loved him so much, too much. He didn't love her back that much. Why was he even here, he had his picture perfect life with Devon, didn't he? "After I threw myself away for you." She bllinked slowly, trying to clear her eyes from the water that soaked over them from tears. A few escaped in the process. "I need to know, was I just a conquest? Something to keep you busy while you waited for Devon to get over your brother? And, goddammit Caleb, what about him? Don't you fucking care about anyone but you or her anymore? I talked to her Caleb. She just wants to make everyone happy. And you can't do that. Someone is going to end up hurting. In everything that you do, every move you make. You just have to think, and choose the path that causes the least about of chaos." She looked back down at the ground, and shook her head. "You didn't. And I don't know what else to say. Now you see why I said no at the beginning. I wasn't being anything but cautious. Because this is what happens if you just throw yourself away.

{ooc;; saaadddneeesss! (outfiiiiit) }

( - NOW IS YOUR TIME TO PLEA - )
( - SAY IT: "SET ME FREE!" - )

[CALEB D FLAMME]

Caleb strummed his guitar. Playing along with the music he'd written to so long ago. When he'd been thinking about Min, and Devon. They where both a muse to him, Devon a heartbreaking slow sound. While Min sometimes had an energy, but it was always contained. This song was both of them to him. While he was singing now though, Devon was the last thing on his mind. He was thinking about his fingers in the back of him mind, his lips sang the words without any thought. It was his heart he was concentrating on. Staring at Min every moment he could look away from the crowd from the music. He stared at her, trying to feel their hearts connect. He just wanted to crawl into a large bed with her. Hold her close to him, bring her to him, make her forget everything, except the fact that he loved her. That he didn't know how to live without her, he couldn't like without her, he wouldn't live without her. He sang for her, he breathed for her, his heart beat belonged to her. Yes he did still love Devon, but he loved Devon for a different reason then he loved Minnie. He loved her because she was was easy and he knew what to do with Devon, and well she was his friend and he knew he wouldn't be turned down by her. Minnie it was different and terrifying. He constantly second guessed himself, did something wrong, hurt one or both of them. He loved Minnie though, enough to try for her over and over, and except that they weren't easy and to try and fix things. He wanted to fight for her, he couldn't just sit back and let her slip threw his fingers, it'd been his mistake with Devon. He loved Minnie too much, too repeat that mistake.

Caleb looked at her, he shook his head. "There is no such thing as more," he told her when she asked him if he loved her more. He licked his lips, as he told her, "Only different types of love." he said he hoped she understood. Yes he loved Dev, but he also loved her. It was different types of love, if only he'd figured this out before all of this. His stomach dropped when he saw the necklace he'd given to her, the bruises it had caused he could now spot. Just like their love, it always left marks, and brusies from the best of intentions. He couldn't believe he'd hurt her again, why did this keep happening? He wondered. He loved her so much he didn't want any of this, he wanted to steal her away from the world of pain she knew. Caleb had wanted so badly, to show her that she could trust him, that she could love him, that he would always be there for her, but it seemed he'd only proven her right about what she thought about people. Everything had turned out warped from what it had started at, but there was no going back, there was only this moment, and he needed to fix this. He was going to fix this, and regain her love if it was the last thing he did.

He listened to her, "You don't need to tell me, I know. I know I've done such horrible things." he told her. For the first time in his life, the stage made him feel weak, and powerless. Like a little kid, it wasn't a comfort, he wanted to break down and cry. Get on his knees and beg her with everything in him, crawl till he bleed just to make things better. "Min." her name glass in his throat a hot poker in his mind, and a twisting knife in his stomach. "All I was trying to do, is stop this pain," he said his voice cracking from the strain. "I was trying to make things better. For all of us!" he told her. "I didn't mean to do any of it, I meant to break it off with Devon, I told her I couldn't see her anymore, because it was hurting all of us. All I could think about was you," he told her. "I just wanted to make everything better for you, I was just trying to be better, trying to make it so you could love me," he told her looking at her. "Because for some God Dammed reason I love you." he was speaking louder now. Loud enough the mic's were picking up this moment between the two of them. "No matter what I do I can't get you out of my thoughts." he told. "I've tried to, trust me, I have, but I can't because I love you. I love every part of you, ever roll of your eyes, every thing you say, everything about you drives me absolutely insane." he told her. It was a crazy thing love. "All I wanted to do was stop all of this, because I wanted to love you entirely. Do you honestly think I wouldn't be here if I didn't choose you? Over and over I chose you. If I didn't why do you think I would keep trying to make things okay. To help you? To be there for you," he said.

He broke away there was something else rising inside of him something that wasn't remorse. "Now I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up. I'm trying to fix that. I'm trying to make things better. I just want to be a better man. A better man for you. So that I can take care of you." he told her. "But don't act like your not constantly pushing me away Minnie," he said calling her his name for her. "Your always pushing me away, and I don't know what to do. I'm trying too make things work, and it feels like you just want them all too fall apart so you can be right about people." it'd been a flash of anger that had built inside of him. Now it was out though, and his voice was small once more. He looked at her, from her hair, to her eyes, to her nose, and lips, he looked into her eyes. He tried to read her mind, he tried to see into her. "Do you want this to work?" he asked her.

[/blockquote]

[KILLIAN I. HUMPHREY]

WARRIOR POET ONCE SAID ,
" you're not dead yet so live like you could be . "
• • • • • • • • • • • •

The tension in the air was so noticeable it was almost visible. It had an elasticity that resembled a rubber band being pulled to it’s breaking limits. Though it was a glorious occasion, Killian felt undeniably uncomfortable. He knew not the details, but Min and Caleb were having some relationship problems, which unfortunately did not entirely surprise him. The two were made for each other like a pair of soft, Italian leather shoes, but each of their little quirks conflicted with the other’s. Craving more information, but not wanting to poke his nose into places that it should not be, he ran his hands through his hair habitually and placed his signature Ray Ban sunglasses on carefully. Clapping his hands together for a meager energy boost, Killian lazily jogged out to the stage, hearing the fans make their noise, it’s intensity gathering with each footstep he took. The fans did not excite him per se, nor did they scare him. They created that awkward, indescribable feeling of being scarily alert and on edge. This feeling made him jittery and inevitably a bit ecstatic. Settling himself behind his drum set, he glanced out to the crowd. His muscles tensed, that adrenaline-like feeling enveloping him into a world of his own; a world where music controlled his body and the fans fueled the fire like gasoline. Situating himself into his seat, he looked to Minerva. When they met each others’ eyes, Killian could sense a surge of remorse between the two. He raised his sunglasses from his eyes and onto his head and shot her a comforting look, silently saying It’s okay, Min. I’m here for you. He nodded for good measure. Now, he thought she was a beautiful girl, but no chemistry was between them. They had been just friends for God knows how long and would remain that way. He was so apathetic and awkward at times, yet she was overflowing with emotions constantly and was outgoing. Not a suitable match whatsoever. Glancing to Caleb as he ended his silent confrontation with Min, he smiled, nodded, and threw him a wave, drumstick in hand. He then shrugged to Caleb. He did not know what to do. The tension grew a tenfold when Caleb walked out. Min was obviously avoiding eye contact, ignoring his very existence on the outside, but she was most likely grieving on the inside. What a way to live, Killian thought. Hiding your true emotions even though you wanted to let them flow in a strong current. Doing so, though, would make the fans far happier than they need to be and would thoroughly embarrass them. Breathing deep in, he placed his Ray Bans back over his eyes and waited for his cue to start playing. There. There it was. He played rather unenthusiastically, but still well. He just did not want to drown out Min’s unique, soft voice. Though she was a great singer and was acing the song, she sounded vulnerable; frail, in a sense. She was hurt, Killian could tell. Shaking the hair out of his face while he played, he could feel the sweat creeping down his back, giving him a worrisome feeling.

As her song ended, Killian darted his eyes to Caleb, who was to sing a song next (If Killian remembered correctly, this was unbeknownst to Minerva. Quickly changing songs, Killian didn’t get the break he needed so much. Granted, this song was nothing hard to play, it was still a lot of work, the heat from the lights penetrating their beams onto him and making his skin perspire. He didn’t like to be overheated and sweaty, but it was bound to happen. Ending that song, he dropped his drumsticks to the stage floor and looked up to the ceiling, huffing out a sigh of relief. Hopefully they were done for the night. He needed some well deserved rest. Standing up, he felt his stomach drop. Min and Caleb were talking. Glancing back up to the ceiling, he scowled. I thought this excitement was done?! Quietly walking into earshot, he placed one hand on his hip and listened in. There was nothing wrong with that, was there? Mere curiosity was not harmful. Things were getting tense, and the microphone was apt to pick up a lot of the argument, for their voices rose at times. Their words and intentions; passionate. Killian could tell they loved each other, but there were so many things that made their relationship complicated. It was sad, really. Devon of Handcuffs and Alibis was a nice girl, no doubt, but she didn’t seem like Caleb’s type. She definitely was more of Parker’s type. The two Flamme brothers were very different. Glancing out to the crowd, he could hear them getting quieter to listen to their conversation that could be scarcely heard on the microphone.

Killian wanted to intervene, but it just was not his place to. Also, he did not know where to jump in. Taking a short, frustrated breath, he placed his hands on each of his hips not in annoyance, but in a counselor-like manner. “Minerva?” Another quick inhalation “Caleb?”

[/color] He then paused, not knowing what to say. “I know it’s not my place to stop you or get into your conversation, but….”[/color] He trailed off, glancing out to the crowd. “… my judgment call, take it or not, is to resume this conversation where there are not hundreds, maybe even thousands, of people listening.”[/color] He shrugged, rolling his eyes at himself subtly. “And if you don’t agree with me, at least let me turn off the mic. I don’t want you guys embarrassed.”[/color] He bit his lip, trying to make them understand his spiel. He did not wait for a response then, he just went up to the mic, mumbled “See you later, guys”[/color], waved lazily, and turned off that microphone. He walked over to the other one and flicked it off, as well. Walking back to them, he frowned. “I’ll see you two soon.”[/color] He turned to leave. “Good luck.”[/color] He mumbled quietly, half hoping they heard that last statement.


[/blockquote][/blockquote][/size][/center]
words A wee over 1,000
tagged Caution Tape
template PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
notes Woooh. Drama.

[MINERVA L TRESCOTT]

( - IS ANYBODY OUT THERE? - )
( - HELLO, HELLO! - )

It was never easy. But was it supposed to be? She couldn't remember one moment where she and Caleb had not struggled. But somehow, it was as easy as breathing to her. She was confused all the time, not sure what to do. But loving him? No, that wasn't hard at all. She had done that forever, did it without thinking. Was it easier for him with Devon? She knew it had to be, they knew each other better, they were more likely more for each other then she and him were. She was Minerva, the fucked up one. She was Devon, the splenda-sweet one. And to say that to anyone, they could easily pick the one he should be with. His high-school sweetheart. But then, where did that leave Minerva, if Caleb got what he deserved? If that, then what did Min deserve? For some reason, thinking this only made her more bitter. She narrowed her eyes, her eyebrows knitting closely. "Oh really, different kinds of love? The only other type of love I can think of is sisterly. And I really hope you wouldn't fuck your sister." She heard her comment resound around her, the usually sorrowful notes of her that the microphone picked up slurred into something angry and dry. This was not a Minerva that people were used to hearing on stage. But just from her looks, you had to admit she seemed the type to tear herself up and burry her head. At least, that's what people were saying about her. She walked closer to Caleb, as he continued. He sounded sad. Don't be sad, it makes me mad. Or had it been the other way around? She was close now, enough to feel his breath rush at her as his remorse turned to anger, to sense it off him coming in waves. Caleb always hid his anger well, and she didn't look for the obvious reasons, the ones that were coming now. She was watching his hands, watching how they gripped the neck of his guitar, like it was his life raft. Watching the veins pop up. That was how she knew he was angry. He was well in control of his emotions, unlike Min, whose were always spinning out of control. She couldn't hold them down from moment to moment. And as if to validate her point, without thinking, she reached her hand out to his wrist, listening to his voice surround her from all sides of the stage, the voice coming from the speakers wrapping around her like a warm blanket, so familiar and comforting. "Because for some God Dammed reason I love you. No matter what I do I can't get you out of my thoughts. I love every part of you, ever roll of your eyes, every thing you say, everything about you drives me absolutely insane." Her fingers brushed lightly against him, and her eyes grew, wide, she flinched her hand back for a moment. But it was just surprise. It was only a moment's hesitation before she wrapped her whole hand around his. She listened to him strike out at her in anger. But it didn't hurt her. Not at all. She had learned to get over this. And maybe, in a sense, that made Caleb more vulnerable. But she didn't really care. "I have wanted this to work since I first cried for you." Her voice was lowered, and the microphone wasn't in front of her anymore. "That was when I first knew I loved you. But I couldn't admit it to myself. So I didn't admit it to you for a while." Then she heard Killian, and her head flipped around as he came. Oh shit. She hadn't thought anything of the snipets of conversation she had heard over the speakers. But now they had a meaning, one that was urgent. Why did things only get harder. She pulled her hand from Caleb like he was on fire. "He's right," She whispered. And calmly walked of stage.

( - DEPRESSION IS THE UNHOLY GHOST, - )

For some reason, she broke down then. Her mind, her body, everything. She did not know why, but she stumbled out behind the stage, and down the stairs, her eyes swimming. She was lucky she didn't fall, even if it was only a few stairs. She hunkered down at the bottom of the stairs, not sure if she could go farther without completely tripping out. She was on the side though, sitting down leaning her head against it, sitting on the rough gravel behind the stage. It was hot out. But it didn't seem to phase her at all. And she cried. She cried hard. And ugly too, not a graceful cry that would be attractive, but globs of snot that she rubbed on the back of her hands, black tracks of mascara marring down her face, followed with faint streaks of a light blue eye liner. Her cries escalated. Loud, maybe? If anyone was near enough, they would hear for sure. She had felt anything but pretty before, and now she felt like shit. She felt like screaming, and kicking, and cursing. But mostly, she felt like curling up in someone's arms. And there was a specific someone in mind. Hopefully he would come down the stairs, if he still cared like he said he did. When did things suddenly become so hard? There was a time when it was simple. But now, she was just confused. And part of her said he wouldn't come. Part of her said it was only what she deserved, him just leaving now, and never coming to her rescue. She just cried harder.

{ooc;; he. must. FOLLOW HER. (outfiiiiit) }

( - DO THEY CARE AT ALL? - )
( - ALONE, ALONE! - )

[CALEB D FLAMME]

Caleb looked at Min, he could tell from the expression on her face. He'd done it again. Said the wrong thing, a feeling of dread started to fill his stomach a feeling he was becoming far too common with. He watched her eyes narrow, the way she looked at him. Like he was scum, that glare, it would have driven away tons of people. But not Caleb, it wouldn't drive him away not until she listened too what he had to say. He still loved her, and there was no way, he was going to let her throw this...throw them away. He would save this, one stupid night was not going to kill months of him trying to be close to her. Still it was a punch in the gut, when she mentioned the sisterly thing. He didn't comment though, trying not to grow angry, he wouldn't get upset he was over that.

Then suddenly it was all out there, all of it was in the air. Was floating around them, all the things he thought about her. How she drove him crazy, with the need he had for her. How much he wanted her, all the time, no matter what. How much he loved her, he looked at her. It was now only a question of could she return those feelings, he looked at her. It was the same question it had always been, only on the stage, it felt like it was on much grander of a stage. She touched him for a second, just brushing her fingers against him. It was enough though, it was enough, he thought closing his eyes. Feeling the smallness of her touch, but it was still a touch, and a loving one at that, not the smack he'd thought might be in store for him. She was coming to him, she was coming back. There might just be a light at the end of this tunnel if he could have Min. If he could call someone his own, by the end of this, if someone found love in the end results of all of this mess, he could say it was all worth it. He sighed, and looked at Killian when he came over to them. Suddenly Minerva was gone, and he was alone now. He'd been in some state of floating euphoria when he had her, now she was gone though. It cut him like an ache, he looked Killian in the eyes, "Sorry man. I have to go," he said. Taking off his guitar, he knew what he needed to do.

Even as he did it, Caleb knew later on he wouldn't be able to remember his next actions. Walking off the stage like this would all just black out, would all just disappear. Like so many things in life it would only be here long enough, for it to be known it was here, then it would disappear. Caleb figured it was better to slip away before the moment did. His moment was coming he knew, he knew where his moment would be. Because he knew the moment he saw it. He knew what he had to do, walking off the stage. The world suddenly seemed black, dark, and cold. There wasn't any lights shinnying on him anymore, lighting the way for him, or making him overly hot. Walking into the dark, or maybe doing something that seemed more like stumbling he made his way around. He could hear it, a sound that stabbed him in the gut over and over. Made his feel like he was bleeding, and would choke on his own heart and breath, if it went on just one second longer. He wouldn't have cared if he was deaf, blind, dumb, or any other disadvantage in this moment. Because he knew what he had to do, he had to take care of his heart, and his reason for living. Because she was crying, and with every moment he heard her cry, his heart pounded louder and harder, it seemed to be yelling at him. It was in pain, and it was wondering why he wasn't fixing her? Why wasn't he helping her, and the pain.

Once he laid his eyes on her, there was no stopping him. His heart was what was moving him, everything was controlled by it. He looked at her, as he crashed to his knees and bowed down next to her. He wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her close to her. Not wanting to let her go, until he could feel their hearts beat together. "Minerva," he said her name, he knew she hated it, but he wasn't thinking, his mind on autopilot. He slipped one arm under her knees, the other wedged between her and the wall, he pulled her close. "Stop it," he said in a small whisper. If he'd thought the sound of her crying was bad, this was a million times worse. Knifes stabbed him over and over, everywhere. Needles poked his skin, and made him aware of it, aware he was touching her, that he needed to do something more then to just touch her. But he didn't know what to do. Yes he'd seen her cry before, that had been a while ago, and it hadn't been like this. He didn't know how to deal with it, "Please stop," he asked her, begging her with his voice while he held her close, and tried to think of words to comfort her. "I love you," he said looking at her. "I'm here, please don't cry," the words started to come out of him. "No matter what, I'm always here for you, I'm not leaving, I love you so much. You are my everything, I will never leave you, you mean the world and more to me. I wish I could make things better for you," he told her in some sort of explosion of words that came out of his mouth. Words that his mind didn't choose but his heart chose.

[MINERVA L TRESCOTT]

( - ITS ALL FREE AND THATS REAL - )
( - ITS ALL FREE YOU SAID - )

Those times, when you're crying really hard, you don't know what you're saying. Min was having one. Down the stairs he came, calling her. Oh, God, how this all hurt so much. It was like a mortal wound, something fatal. He spoke so many words, streaming out of his mouth like a waterfall, trying to comfort her, to put her at ease. "Don't leave, don't leave, don't leave." She canted over and over. It was like a little child, just blurting out whatever was on it's mind in a mantra. Over her lips, over again. Don't leave, don't leave, don't leave me.

Because it eased all the pain, because it wsa like poring gallons of water on a huge fire that had escalated. And it was a fire, a burn inside her that seared her muscles and hurt her entire body. It was an ache that she couldn't describe, discomfort too much like a slice, too acute to be anything but a long cute. And yet it stung and throbbed like a ragged scar, ripped across her chest and ribcage, leaving her still-beating heart open for everyone to see, to see it's flaws to see it's pain. So see she was not like them. And all of it was soothed by him coming to her, like lotion on a nasty sunburn. She couldn't describe it any better, for the loss, the hurt, stung like she had been frying in the sun, that red sting covering her. And he was the aloe to the pain. And he lifted her and held her close. And the feeling of anger, any that had ever existed, diminished instantly. It was just her in his arms, and she heaved a huge sigh, but the tears did not stop. So she flung her thin arms around his neck and burrind her head in him, so happy he was holding her, just crying into him. And the heavy breaths, the sobs, still racked her body, but sometimes crying was a good feeling. It was releasing. But he was begging her to stop. And at some point, she did, and just stay there clamly, her head under his, biting her lip. Where did this put things now. He always loved her? But still, answers. "Then why?" she whispered into his neck. "Why did you do it? Was it because I wouldn't?" Impulse was one thing, but she couldn't get it through her mind still. She wanted her answers. And as soon as the words were out of her mouth, she regretted them. What a brilliant way to ruin a perfect moment, she chided herself. "Nevermind." she mumbled.

Why did she ruin things like this? All the time, every moment she opened her mouth, words poured out that were just meant to stay in doors. But no, they never did. She kept her head there, her body frozen and stiff, waiting for the reaction. Always waiting for the reaction. She was hesitent now, in everthing she did. No, she never thought twice, but it was like her body, her mind, was always braced for something. Waiting for reaction, eruption. She took deep breaths through her nose. Through her mouth, they would have faltered. And she would start crying again. Her ear was pressed against his chest, she listed to his calm heartbeat plod along her own racing one. She was like a hare, a rabbit, with teh heart the never stopped. Even at moments of utmost calm, blood pounded through her body. Although, she wouldn't call this a moment of calm. Quite the opposite. It was like a ticking clock, the noise inside his chest. And she tried to use it's rythm to get a bit more serene, which was impossible, either way.

{ooc;; HOLY SHIT FAIL. (outfiiiiit)

**editt... added another paragraph or so.. }

( - I NEED TO ACCEPT - )
( - I NEED TO FORGET I GUESS - )