New York, New York `` one

[OPHELIA M. WHITMAN]

Why Hello , There !

Welcome, Shameless Tour, to New York, New York. I see you have these big city dreams? That's cute. Doesn't everyone have them in the city that never sleeps? My name is Ophelia Whitman, and I am one of those wonderful little gossip columnists. Yes, every one of them claims to be better than the other, but I really feel I am competent of giving you what the others don't. Yeah, I'm cutthroat. You don't have to be afraid; just watch your back, mkayy?

First on the docket;
Caution Tape



Caution Tape. A talented band contending in Shameless. Too bad this talented band is tainted by its' lead singer Minerva Trescott's odd manner. I mean, her singing voice is wonderful, but the drama she gets herself caught up in is unbearable (well, I take this back, for a gossiper, this drama is terrific). Next to Caleb Flamme; this boy seems to have some problems, as well. He's all caught up in relationships and shit. He used to date the lead singer of Handcuffs and Alibis, but that relationship died out sometime back. He's currently dating (is it really dating?) Minerva, but is having some trouble letting go of his past relationship. Lastly, Killian Humphrey. This kid doesn't seem fucked up at all, and is the sweet little boy from a quiet neighborhood. How adorable. Buuuut. He has been seen at a nightclub socializing with the easy merch girl from Spare The Rescue. Making a good boy go bad, Jamie dear? Not surprised, truthfully.


Second on the docket;
Radio Soul



Radio Soul is the underdog band. This tells you that they will have to work twice as hard as everyone else to win the Shameless Tour. I mean, they have a chance, but not a big one. The bassist (and backup singer. ooh how versatile), Sean Ray is a raging alcoholic. He's known to mess around with prostitutes and then call up the lost, innocent little tech girl Via Liter and have her bring him home. Like, what the fuck?! The dumb girl is being used by the dumb boy. Ridiculous, much? The naive Via (that isn't even her real name; if anyone knows it I will pay you lots to get it! *winkwink*) is totally oblivious to the fact Sean probably doesn't care about her and just needs someone to carry his drunk ass home. It's sad, it truly is. But, maaaaybe there is some sexual tension up in Radio Soul. You never know. (;


Third on the docket;
Handcuffs And Alibis



Handcuffs And Alibis is another strong band in the Shameless Tour. Devon Manning is the lead singer of this band. Apparently she's like, the sweetest shit since Splenda. Everyone loves her, no one hates her, and she's always there for you. It's such a shame that she has all the relationship problems she does. First she dates Caleb from Caution Tape, then she dates his brother (and her fellow bandmate) Parker Flamme. But, I've heard around town that Caleb was in Miss Manning's tourbus and made her cry by telling her they should never like, speak to each other about a relationship ever again. Poor baby girl, the boy was being an ass. But I guess that what you get when you date an emotional wreck like Minerva (I have nothing truly against her, she is just a mess personality-wise). Then we have the tech girl Jaymee Doyle. She's a good girl; nice, quiet, but can be a little bitchy (can't we all?). Haven't heard much news on her, but I'm keeping my eyes and ears open.


Fourth on the docket;
All Grown Up




All Grown Up is a band with a real fucked up lead singer. Ethan Rhymes is dating the gossip Belladonna Allen. Their relationship is shit. If you thought the Parker x Devon x Caleb x Min love square was messed up, you have not seen 'Ethella'. Ethan ingests more liquids than a fish and is so very irritable. Bella is well acquainted with alcohol, as well, but thinks so much of herself that she wouldn't even say "I love you" back to her boyfriend. Sad, definitely, but I wouldn't have said I love you back to him, either. Partly because he's such a travesty. Last I heard, the couple was out at lunch and the whole 'I love you' scenario went down, Ethan threw a hissy fit, and they're possibly taking a break from each other. Fair enough. Bella, dear, as a fellow gossiper I'd like to wish you the best of luck with your piece of work boyfriend.


Fifth on the docket;
Spare The Rescue



Spare The Rescue is an interesting band. Not much news about anyone except the easy merch girl Jamie Chyron. What a naughty little girl, she is. I know it's scandalous of me to say, but I'm thinking she sells merch, yeah, but she gives herself up free for the taking. Jamie can be such a friendly, fun person; but she is also very flirtatious. Watch out Killian from Caution Tape, she is trying to lure you into her pretty little trap and take advantage of you.


Last on the docket;
Ending Thoughts



Ending Thoughts is not a very dramatically active band, but I can see one trickle of gossip here and there. Rosalie Ogden is a pretty little girl who is stubborn as hell. I know, I know, not much to say about her, but I have this feeling about her, so I'll keep my eyes open.




A little extra;
Gossipers!



Gossipers . Us gossipers are pretty great. Belladonna Allen has been with the band from the beginning, telling her little tales and bringing some gossip into the spotlight. Very humorous threads, no doubt, since all the people that know her shun her on her columns. Monsieur August Bliss is new to gossiping about Shamelss, such as I. BUt I gotta give this kid credit; he draws some attention to himself. And myself, Ophelia Whitman. I don't have any gossip about myself, but I can provide you with some interesting news about others.



And that concludes the gossip....

for now.

Welcome to New York, New York; the city that never (ever) sleeps...