F A L L I N' on the bathroom floor

[CALEB D FLAMME]

It'd been a few days since gossip had mentioned that Caleb and Devon had kissed. Which in Caleb's mind wasn't even true. It wasn't on the lips, so he didn't think to count it. Also a part of him, in his stomach and mind couldn't handle the thought that he would hurt his brother like that, or Devon and Min. He didn't want to think he could be that sick and twisted, even when he was messed up. He liked to think he cared more then that, but he knew. Somewhere inside of himself he knew that it was wrong what he'd done. That fucked up and messed up and pissed or not he shouldn't have gone to Devon, or he shouldn't have gone after her like that. Now that Min was gone, she'd gone home for some reason. The thoughts of what he'd done haunted him. He needed to fix this, but last he'd heard his brother wouldn't talk to him, and he still wondered why his brother had gone to Min's hotel room?"Had something happened between them? What had happened, was that why Min had left him?


Maybe this was why Caleb was on this mission now. He needed to go and to go see Devon. He needed to clear up the air around everything. After all this wasn't going to be a very good christmas, if all of his friends and loved ones were upset with each other. After all this was pretty crappy as it was, not being with his parents. He missed his parents, and his brother, missed the simple life. But it wasn't time to think about this now, he needed to be strong, or at least seem it to deal with Devon. So Caleb pulled himself out of bed, something that was rare since he'd locked himself in his bed, since Min had left him. He still wondered what he'd done wrong, maybe Devon could help him as well? When Caleb was sure that everyone else on the bus was gone, he walked over to Devon's tour bus. He knocked on the door.

"Hey, Devon, come on open up," he said to the door. "I need to talk with you..." his voice dropped a little bit. He closed his eyes, "Please Devon," he was begging the door. He knew she wasn't going to be happy with him, but would she at least give him a chance to explain himself?

Words:: Idk
Taggs : Devon duh
Notes : yeah..

[DEVON T. MANNING]

Devon was having a quiet afternoon, just kinda sitting there. Cleaning the bus. Listening to music. Making some food for herself. All that good shit. Yeah, she didn't know where Parker was, and it amused her that the anonymous blog had called her and Parker 'lying low' but maybe they were. They weren't trying to stick out. But honestly Devon was almost embarrassed how much attention she was getting from gossipers. She wasn't totally proud that she'd broken up with Caleb and moved on to Parker, but she still felt it was a good choice. It was just one of those gut feelings, ad she'd gone with it.

Devon knew Caleb didn't like it, so she partly did her best to avoid Caleb. Or at least, not go out of her way to see him. Anonymous was right, Devon and Parker were tied in with Minerva and Caleb. They had created a large mess and they were all tangled in it. She was still unsure how she felt that Parker had gone to see Minerva. He told her nothing happened and she had believed him, but still...The thought made her jumpy.

She heard a knocking on the tour bus and jumped. Devon had been taking the time alone to listen to loud music, sing along, and sweep. But someone wanted to see her? Interesting. Good thing she'd changed out of her pajamas into real clothes. She rested the broom somewhere out of the way, tucking back a lock of hair before going to the door. Damnit, there was no handy peep hole. Then she heard Caleb start talking.

It took her a minute to realize he was at the door, wanting to se her...again. Last time it didn't end well. Maybe she could fix that. Suddenly she was stressed. Like,not much, but still...She had no idea what would happen. Unpredictable situations were Devon's least favorite to be in. But maybe, maybe she could use this time to fix everything. Caleb thought he was the one who fucked up...But Devon still carried around the weight on her shoulder that she had also been involved what everyone was calling a scandal. She really needed to fix this before she was freaking out over herself. Yeah, Devon was caring and kind of motherly.

She yanked the door open, a slightly cross look on her face. Was it cross? It wasn't supposed to be. She was just suddenly very tired, and a little stressed out, and her relaxing was a bit over. unless this ended well, in which she would probably feel like she just won the lottery Devon lived to make others happy.

[CALEB D FLAMME]

Caleb had stood there. Feeling more and more like he was falling apart as he stood there. He thought about the last time he'd come to see Devon like this. He thought about what had happened, between them. The words he'd said, and the actions that had ended up being noticed on a gossip website. All of these things had happened last time he'd seen Devon. Maybe they where why Min was gone? He didn't know that might be it, he wasn't sure. He wished he could go to see someone else when he needed help. But Devon was the only girl he really knew besides Min, if he could say he knew Min. And besides he needed to see Devon to fix this.

When she opened the door, that look that was on her face. He looked back at her, trying to compose himself quickly. Giving himself a fake air of strength he wasn't sure if Devon would see threw or not, but he had to tell himself she wouldn't so he could act like it wouldn't. "That," he said out loud looking at him. "That right there, is why I'm here," he pointed at her. Telling her and reminding himself why he was here. He was here because Devon wasn't happy with him, and when she wasn't happy with him, it was sort of like the world hated him. Especially himself.

Caleb stepped forward towards Devon, "Can I come in?" he asked. Reading her face better, he could tell she was tired. And suddenly so was he. He didn't like fighting with anyone, it made him tired. Also he'd never really fought with Devon before, and not after their break up had they really fought...or talked to each other. He wanted to make it up to her, as if that would make everything better. He knew it wouldn't but he knew it would make his life so much easier.

"Dev," her name on his lips, in his throat was thick and hard. It also burned his throat to say her name like that. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he told her. Always apologizing for things he did to her. "I messed up huge. with Parker, with us, with Min, with you...." he let the last one hang in the air. Stepping forward, he wanted to hug her, and hold her face in his hand. Until she stared into his eyes, saw he was truly sorry about all of this. Until she forgave him, "Please just give me a chance too make all this better?" he asked her. He was really more begging her, please a chance to make my life better, back to everyone being happy.

[/size]

[DEVON T. MANNING]

It was playing out like a scene, straight off the movie screen. And it was deja vu. A few nights ago, all over again. A few nights ago she and Caleb had fucked things up, hurting lots of people's feelings. She hated that. But Devon was smart. She knew when she had to do something. This was one of those get it over things. It had to be done. It and this meant facing Caleb, fixing the mess. It might've hurt him more, but that's exactly why she was upset at herself. Se carried a weight on her shoulders. Even though Devon was confident, she needed support form her friends. All the time. Part of her was smug Caleb came to her for help, part was sad when she couldn't do anything to help. Devon had a constant feeling that she owed something to Caleb. Breaking up hadn't been easy for either of them, but if she could go back and rewrite the past she didn't know how she wold change it.

Caleb seemed confident, but he was thrown off by the appearance of her. A giveaway he wasn't totally prepared. Devon only knew this, because, well she did this too. She seemed and tried to be perfect, but she still cracked under pressure. Or stress, right now she had both. But she felt oddly confident. Maybe because avoiding Caleb was the wrong choice. "What's the reason you're here? Me? Because, I'm not a that." Devon said curiously, then testily. She wasn't sure what he was referring to. It seemed like Devon was unusually powerful with this band crowd. She held an influence over Caleb because they were friends and she used to date him. She definitely had a say in whatever parker did, because well they were dating. With those two on her side she may as well take over the world and declare herself queen. Devon didn't like feeling powerful. Not at all.

She felt her shoulders sag slightly, nodding. She was aware Caleb acted careful, a little held back around her. Like maybe she would lash out at him anytime, But that wouldn't happen. Devon hadn't been mean to anyone in her life. Well, she had the occasional tempter tantrum. But the only people to experience that were her parents, Caleb, and parker. They were rare, but sometimes she got nasty. She was blind to others during them. She kept her feelings that could hurt others locked up so well, too well. When they came out they came sudden and hard. Maybe, what was going on between her and Caleb, maybe it was fighting. She automatically disliked it.

Her name was stuck, it seemed like forever until Caleb talked again. And the way he acted, so sad and sorry, it felt like he was breaking her heart by saying sorry. Wasn't he supposed to be mending it or something? Her composed face fell, she didn't know what she should do. Hug him? Or wait until he was finished. She chose the second option, to hear him out first. She knew it was a good idea to remind him he messed up, but she couldn't bring herself to. She glanced up at him, it was so obvious he felt terrible. "Why wouldn't I? Or maybe the better answer is of course." Devon said slowly, thinking about what she just said.

[CALEB D FLAMME]

He looked at her, nice to see Devon was going to at least try and act like this wasn't one of the weirdest things that had ever happened between them. "Of course," he said nodding his head. "Your not what I was calling that," he tried to clarify without loosing his confidence. "I simply meant that look on your face," he said looking at her. They dated long enough, even if she put up an emotional shield against him he thought he could see threw it. He also knew how to read her, and her face very well because of it. He still felt like he was walking on glass around her, the same way he felt about Minnie now when he was with her. He was sick of walking of fucking glass and getting cut up, he wanted solid ground. This was the first step towards it.

He nodded his head, and started to move closer too her. Stepping into the bus now that she'd said he could. He looked around the bus it was much cleaner then his bands bus, with Min being gone and Caleb locking himself inside it, his bus had become a disaster area. "I think you know why I'm here," he said. He decided too stand, once he was inside he turned to look at Devon. "Even so I should probably say it," he was sure she could tell from the way he was speaking that he was uncomfortable. He could feel the stress building up in his shoulders, he didn't sigh or try to show it though. "Devon," once again he name hung in the air. He sighed as he said her name, feeling a bit more relaxed. As he remembered who he was talking to. It was Devon, and while she might be with his brother now, which was a punch in the gut he thought she still cared about him. Even if she didn't act like it.

"I'm sorry," the words just came out of his mouth. "For everything," his mouth was going his heart speaking while his brain tried to think about the words pouring from him. It was like once the steam had started a waterfall was coming now and there was going to be no stopping it, he was pouring his heart on the floor for her. "I'm sorry that I came to you that day, I'm sorry for kissing you even if I don't count it as a real kiss, I'm sorry if that caused problems between you and Parker, I'm sorry for what I said, I'm sorry for whatever it was I did that made you go away," now he paused and looked at her. The pain still showed in his eyes thinking of their break up, it was more pain that he was now being compared to Parker, which hurt the brothers.

"I'm sorry I had too come back here and say all this," he said. "I'm sorry for the words I said. I shouldn't have brought up the whole thing with us. Not when your with my brother," the word brother was like glass in his throat. His heart hurt as he was saying this. "I just meant, you were my first love you know," he looked at her pleading her with his eyes to forgive her. "And I know where over, and believe me I'm fine with that, but it just one of those things. I mean Parker really?" he asked her. "Where you trying to hurt me?" he asked her. Finally all these things where coming out of the dark. Were being said, the words that had needed too be said for months now, since they broke up. This was the undertone in all there words that just needed to be expressed. It was all coming out now.

[DEVON T. MANNING]

Devon glanced to her feet, shuffling them awkwardly. They'd known each other for years, but sometimes it still seemed too normal for them to be together. She was used to seeing Caleb and being in his arms, not Parker's. She loved Parker but sometimes she doubted her choice. Sometimes, very rarely. Unfortunately, this was one of those times. She nodded, trying to keep up her charade of being totally normal. If Devon had to chose a moment to fall apart, it might be now.

Devon shrugged. "I might know..." She said, trailing off. Honestly, there were a million reasons. Okay so a million was exaggerating, but there were a few reasons Caleb could be there. Al of them had to be with confrontations and apologies...from both of them. Just shove me in a closet, lock the door, and lose they key already please. She pleaded silently, that would be better than all the regret Devon was feeling, even though hardly any words had been spoken.

Caleb started apologizing, and Devon felt greedy, rude, mean, and deceiving. She knew apologizing was good, and probably better for them and everyone else, but she felt like it wasn't necessary. They could live without him apologizing. Although Devon always apologized, she tried to avoid the action that led to it. She could apologize to Caleb just as easily as he was now. But for some reason, she couldn't. Her throat felt dry, and it felt terrible. "Caleb..." Devon trailed off again, crossing her arms nervously. How could he perform in front of thousands of people, and not confront maybe her best friend?

If Devon's heart was bruised during his apologizing, it was shattered when he mentioned her and parker. Caleb and Parker had both had their heart, something guarded carefully by Devon. Her guard was falling down as she looked at Caleb, seeing the pain. Maybe being in the same room effected her, too. Collapsing was a strong possibility. Caleb had been so amazing, hiding his opinion about her getting together with Parker. Maybe it was because he knew it would hurt her.

"Caleb I don't know why I chose Parker after you. Wait, nevermind. I do know." Devon said, taking a breath. it was rough and vague, but it was the best way she could explain it. "When you met Min, you fell in love with her, at first sight. And that kind of happened to me, with you and all. But Parker was my best friend, and a boy, and it took me forever to realize I was in love with him too." She felt like he stabbed her heart with a dagger. She had hurt Caleb? Hurting anyone was the last thing Devon had wanted. The reasons Devon broke up with Caleb were unknown, even to her. But they both found new amazing people, which helped sweeten the pain, right? She said it was because he started a band with Min, which she believed to be part of t, but not all. "I'm sorry." She said. Just the other day she had apologized to Parker, now Caleb. "But if you told me how you felt..." Devon dropped the train of thought. Then I would've ended it with Parker, too. Heartbreaking was new for Devon, but it was like a plague. And it got everyone in the end. But being with Parker made her happy, he brought her up when she was down. Life without Parker would be like hell, her own personal punishment for being naughty.

[CALEB D FLAMME]

"Caleb," his name on her lips. Her voice saying his name, it was something that would probably always stab him. He felt like he'd been punched in the gut. Still that didn't stop him. He'd held this in for months, before him and Min, before her and Parker. These were things that needed to be said. They needed to come out of him, before the hurt him seriously. He looked down at his hand. It was healing from when he'd punched a window, he knew while it'd been a moment of passion. It wasn't only Min that had caused him to punch the window, he still hadn't healed from loosing his first love, and then when he thought he was getting over her, Parker...he couldn't even finish the thought.

"Devon," he said her name this time he was being strong. He was letting go of the anger, he couldn't hide the pain in his voice when he said her name though. "You know I didn't come here to hurt you,' he told her. Opening she remembered that wasn't why he'd come here. He hadn't meant to but once he'd started to speak he couldn't stop. He thought about Minnie, he sighed and covered his face. This was supposed to make them all feel better, instead he felt like once more his heart had been ripped out of his chest and was being thrown on the floor.

The more he thought about things, he listened to her say. If she had known. He shook his head and looked at her. "It wouldn't have changed anything," he told her. Looking at her, "Because in the end what really mattered was you being happy," he told her. He was spiteful as he said it, but he knew it was true. He would bend over backwards to make her happy, and she never even saw. Never saw how much it hurt him to see them together, to be near her, or him now, she never saw this because it ruined her little impression that things were okay in his mind. "I still would have told you too be with him," he admitted. Even if it killed him, because he still cared about her. Caleb looked at Devon, his heart still fluttered a little bit, and then it felt like it had been smothered. She'd stolen it, and killed it, and just as he'd gotten it back in working condition, something between them had ruined him and Min.

"It doesn't matter though, You have Parker," he said shrugging his shoulders, trying to act like that wasn't a punch in the gut. "You got the real brother you wanted," he told her. Clenching his fist so tears wouldn't fall. "And I had Min," he looked at her, he'd had her. "Looks like I fucked that up too," he said thinking out loud. He didn't want to blame everything on Devon it wasn't how he was. But in this situation his problems did seem to always come back to her. "You know I came here too apologize, but I don't think that will work anymore." he said looking at her. "I don't think I can be around you," he was just saying what he was thinking. And whlie it was like ripping his own heart out, he knew it would be better for them in the future. "I should go," he turned around to look at the door.

[DEVON T. MANNING]

Devon knew it had been the other way around. She had been the one to break his heart.. And she felt terrible. That it took this long to see through Caleb's charade. She thought he disliked her and Parker being together. She was wrong. He had been crushed...If Devon hadn't broken his heart ending it with him, maybe she was now by being with Parker. It seemed like she was tied in with everything Caleb did. They were both on this tour, both not completely moved on, both musicians, and both crushing each other. This was what Devon had been trying to void all her life, hurting someone. Now she was hurting not only herself, but Caleb. Caleb who she had loved, and to some extent still did.

"But, if you told me..." Devon protested. "I could've done something." She finished. Devon couldn't stand this. Why couldn't they just hug and makeup, like they used to? Devon felt crushed, but it was probably ten times worse for Caleb. "I can't be happy if you're not." She corrected him, looking at her feet for a minute. He had one os much to make her happy, and she wasn't happy in the long run. As in now. Devon wanted to go back to living in her make-believe fairytale, where everything as okay again Maybe she wanted to go back to when she was dating Caleb, when nothing had hurt them. And before she had fallen in love with Parker. Or maybe she wanted to fast forward in the future, would it be better than it was now? Ether way, this moment had a lot of influence over both choices.

"Caleb, if you're ever unhappy...You can tell me. You know I would do anything for you..." Devon said, trailing off. It was true. Devon was full of favors. And especially now, she felt like she owed Caleb something. Okay, a lot of something. If he felt as bad as he looked, then she felt like she could give her life and still owe him. Part of thatw as Min though. Devon and Min. Constantly compared. Funny how the two are friends, since she was part of the many and unknown reasons Devon broke up with Caleb.

Maybe Caleb could hold back from tears, but Devon couldn't. They came at a steady flow. She wasn't a loud cryer, and her eyes never got puffy or red, but still. It was a miserable sight to see Devon crying. "Don't say that. It wasn't easy, i-" Devon cut herself off, deciding finishing that statement would just be useless. 'I don't think I can be around you.' Fuck, Devon had screwed up. Big time. Now it was far past hugging and being fine the next day. "Why can't we just be...normal...friends...and..." Devon struggled with her words. Not having Caleb? Devon had always relied on Caleb, as safe ground. He had been the one person she could talk to, tell how she felt...And he was leaving her. That was impossible. Was this how he had felt when she broke up with him? "Caleb, don't leave me. Was that what Caleb had said? She couldn't remember. She would never forgive herself for that.

[CALEB D FLAMME]

"You could have done something?" he looked at her. They both knew that argument was weak. "Like what Dev?" he asked her. "Break up with Parker? Hide your relationship from me? No," he looked at her, hurt shinnying in his eyes. "I wouldn't do that too Parker," he loved his brother to much for that. Even if Parker was a pain sometimes, and did things like this. Parker had no idea how he felt about this, because Caleb was a good person, or so he thought, and he hid away all his pain from there relationship until now. And now he just wanted to throw it away, and never feel anything ever again.

Caleb looked at Devon, she was crying and it broke his heart just a that last bit. It nearly broke his self control. He wanted to hold her like he had so many times before. He looked at her, this was far out of control and he knew it. He was almost sure she knew it too. "We just can't Devon," he nearly never said her full name, and never in a serious tone. Now when he said it, it was serious like stones on his heart. He looked at her, he'd hide how much this hurt him for months, now it was out in the air and he only felt guilty for showing her his heart once more. When she wasn't his. "I can't. I can't be around you," he told her. "I can't know that your sad, and I can't do anything about. I can't know that I wasn't enough, and we just can't go back Devon," he said looking at her.

"Please. I'm sorry. I've been dealing with this a lot longer then you, I shouldn't have put this on you," he told her. He shouldn't relie on her anymore. He looked at her. "You know I still love you, I always will," he said. That wasn't to say he didn't love Minnie. But it was a different, first love thing with Devon. It was a closeness that he'd shared with her, she'd been his whole world for so long, and now she was gone. "We just need to stop. No more of this," he said, looking around the bus. "No more," the words hurt, "I'm already hurt, but Parker's not," he said. He looked at her, "I won't hurt him, like I got hurt," he said looking at her. It was time for him to go he knew. He took a few more steps towards the door. While he felt bad, he also felt better. This was going to be good for them. A clean break, no more Devon, no more pain. No more of this.

He didn't comment on her not being happy. She would just have to be happy. One of them needed to be happy. Some good had to come of all this pain, someone needed to see the bright side, and with his whole body in agony. In pain that started at his fingertips, and washed over his whole body, like a knife in the gut that was driven in harder, with every heart beat. He didn't see himself being the one who was going to be happy. "You just have too be happy," he told her. Not a question an order, "You and Parker have to be happy," he said. "Someone has to find happiness in all this, otherwise why the hell do we hurt each other so much?" he asked her.