.DOUBLE THE ENCORE

[MINERVA L TRESCOTT]

His brush against her cheek, that was all she wanted. Some idea that he would always do something like that, or hold onto her. But here was the thing; she wasn't normal. Caleb, he was better then normal. He could get any girl, especially now that the band was rolling into it's own, ones that didn't have any emotional baggage, like her. Simple girls who could give him the simple life he needed, girls her could take back to his parents. (Had she even met his parents? She had to think for a while, and just couldn't remember. Too much had happened since they left Florida, when Caleb was only her 'friend'.) Minerva wasn't simple though, but she liked to think she had some admirable traits; she was strong, brave, and smart, greatly intelligent, she supposed. She could think about anything, for days, or just debate someone nonstop. But she didn't have the grades to prove that she was smart though; it was another one of those things to get her mother angry. But there were so many bad qualities too; she was bitter, cynical, and pensive around people. But around Caleb, all of her qualities changed. She became nervous, of what he though about her, about how she acted (which was silly, because she knew he didn't care, and she was the type of girl to rebel against the thoughts that others had for her), she became hesitant around him, nervous about every touch she might make, every move she might make. And her bravery, well, that was out the window. She didn't need to be (or like to be) around Caleb. He was her protection, and she was perfectly happy just relying off him. It made her feel loved, and it helped her break down the silly wall she had created, and let him in. Because she liked him in, liked him around.

Being serious took too much energy out of her, required too much. "Must be some messed up dreams, then." She wasn't serious though, not at all. She couldn't be anymore, she didn't want to be. And she knew he wasn't worth arguing with anymore. But then he got serious again. It seemed like a struggle for him. That's why she didn't bother trying. She laughed a little, and exhaust of air. Took her hand and placed it over his on her face, still using her left arm to prop herself up. "I know. That's why I'm here." She laughed again and lay down next to him. She still felt hot, like her body was on fire. It didn't seem right to her. Was she sick? Did Caleb feel it, when she lay against him, her head on his chest, and her arms wrapped around him? She knew it was bad if her arm did it... But she knew she was over thinking things, so she just stopped thinking about it. The window wasn't a burden anymore, and it kept her comfortable. She sighed, and leaned her head up so she could kiss him on the cheek. He had always been afraid to kiss her, after that first night. But didn't he realize she had kissed him?

She leaned up again, and scooted forward, her legs hanging off the edge of a very large bed. (Just one bed, she noted, which made her feel comfortable. She definitely couldn't sleep another night without him.) She took one hand and ruffled her hair before looking up to a mirror on the wall of the suite. It was a doomed effort, her appearance. She smirked at her reflection, and pulled a hair-tie from her wrist, putting the ringlets up into a very messy bun. She slid all the way off the bed then, and walked into the bathroom, splashing some water on her face before walking out again. She looked for a remote to the TV; it was just too quiet. She leaned down and looked in the drawers under the TV stand. "I'm tired. But I'm hungry too. More hungry then tired, I think." She laughed, coming up from her crouch, unsuccessful in finding the remote. "Room service?"

[CALEB D FLAMME]

He looked at her, and shrugged his shoulders. "Sometimes," he told her the truth. He had weird dreams, that he woke up and wtf'ed about. But normally it wasn't because of her. It was because of where they were, or such things like that. He smiled as he looked at her, he moved a little bit, so his head was resting on a pillow. He sudden remembered, with Min here, he might get a decent night's sleep. Wouldn't that be nice he thought. He closed his eyes, and smiled. He felt so relaxed with her around, like things were finally back to how they should be he thought. He opened his eyes and looked at her once more, "I'm glad," he said that she knew he loved her. That she loved him, that she was back, all these things made it so he felt so happy right now he could have done anything right now. He didn't say anything more though, he didn't think he needed to.

He watched her when she got up out of the bed. He frowned when he found himself alone in this big old bed. He sighed and watched her, she moved around a little bit. He wanted to call her back to bed, but he didn't. She moved into the bathroom, and Caleb sighed. Proping himself up on the bed he took a look around the room. It was pretty nice, one bed though, which he hadn't realized until now. He hoped Minnie didn't mind, he could sleep on the floor if she wanted him to. He just wanted to be near her, and he didn't think they would do anything. They'd hardly even kissed really, he was too nervous about pushing her into doing something. He sighed, and pushed himself up from the bed, just as Minnie walked out of the bathroom. He kicked off his shoes and over shirt, he looked at Min, she'd tied up her hair he noticed. He didn't say anything about it though. Listening to her, he nodded his head. He walked over to where she was standing. He wrapped his arms around her waist, being careful not to touch her bum shoulder. He leaned his head on her other shoulder and looked at her. "I have an idea," he said to her. Kissing her shoulder, for a second. "Why don't you take a bath, in the big huge tub I know they have here, and I'll order some room service, so the foods here by the time your out?" he asked her. Looking at her, but not her face, her skin.

He rubbed his chin, on her shoulder. Kissing it lightly, and slowly so she could stop him at any time. He didn't want to push her, but that didn't mean he didn't have needs. And since the moment he'd met Minnie, all he'd ever wanted to do was kiss her all over and make her feel beautiful. He looked up at her, waiting for a moment, hesitating. Hoping she wouldn't stop him, but being ok if she did. He looked back down at her skin, and kissed her hollow of her throat softly. In a loving way he tried to make it, her kissed up, until he was at her cheek. Then he stopped. When he stopped kissing her, he let go of her waist. He didn't want to do something that she wouldn't like and this might be one of those things he thought. He didn't look at her for a minute taking a breath. There was a silence hanging in the air around him, while he waited for her reaction. Would she be okay with it, or would she hate it and not want him to touch her anymore. He felt as if he'd just crossed a line, and he knew he had in some way. In all the times he'd touched her physically, he'd never once done anything that could be considered sexual, or like that. Now he didn't know what to do. After a few minutes his eyes came up to look at Minnie, waiting for some type of sign.

[MINERVA L TRESCOTT]

A bath sounded like a really good idea. She was sore all over, like everywhere he touched her, ever muscle, every nerve was frazzled and bruised, festering just under her skin and out of reach. A nice hot bath would heal it, or sooth it at least, she knew. But she felt to hyped up, awake, aware and active, to do anything remotely close to relaxing. She felt like she was in fireworks. God, she was hot. There was an inferno in her body, she was overactive, over tired, and probably hadn't eaten or drank anything in a week. It was operating on overdrive, and burning away all the carbs and energy, rubbing her raw with friction.

She was caught off guard b him, coming and kissing her slowly. It added to the heat along her spine, his lips were fire on her skin, trailing along ehr face and throat. It was unbearable, each one a bombshell against her and her will. She gasped softly, trying to unmuddle herself as she held her. Trying too hard to unmuddle herself, and crawl out of the hole he was pushing her ino. Tried to keep her wits about her, but she was quickly loosing the battle. The only thing she could think was that she whished he'd hold her tighter.

And it seemed that in the second he backed off, lifted away, and turned her to look him in the eyes, aking her in carefully, she lost that last hold on her brain. And she didn't think. And it was safe to say she went too far, over took the situation and pushed it back tenfold. Emotion took over, like the few times before. She thread her arms around his neck and kissed him ni a very unplatonic way, tearing blindly and rawly into an uncharted territory, and into Caleb. Scarring them, both, she would figure later. But then at some point, her brain caught up, and she stopped, her lips suddenly motionless against his. And she pulled her head back, with a very confused look on her face. "Oh my god..." she murmurred, not sure he would even hear her, not that she was talking to him (or anyone) in particular. She took her hands down slowly, sliding them down to his chest. She blinked her blue eyes in a sluggish manner, very slowly and sloth-like. A few stray hairs had fallen from the bun, laying askew in front of her face. "What did I do?" She said, like she was asking anyone the question, not him, or herself. Some unknown third person that was standing behind Caleb. "What have I done?" The only word to describe her was confused.

Somethign in her surfaced. She knew he was letting him down, she knew. It was one of those instinct things that you could get. Like she had disapointed him. And only one thing ever came with disapointment. She felt the fear suddenly bubble through her veins. Having protection turn on her was worse then just disapointment from anyone else. And he was different then anyone else. And she felt so silly with all these thoughts, later. But somehow they made perfect sense in her mind now. But it was all pure bull shit, she knew. And she was scared. Because Caleb was strong. And she pulled her hands away from his chest, curling them agsint her's, like a hopeless sheild. She scrunched her eyes, and turned her head to the side, in a flinching way. Waiting for impact. Or something. Waiting for the anger the felt was inevitable, and she knew too well.

But then her moment was over. And she opened her eyes slowly. Oh. It was just Caleb. Nothing to be scared of. She dropped her hands to her sides then. Slowly, slower then her brain had ever gone before, things started to connect, like puzzle peices. She had no acted right, she knew. This wasn't right. He wasn't going to hurt her. And now he would feel guilty. "C-caleb..." His name hitched in her throat, like it was stuck. That would tear him up inside, just rub him raw. Salt in the wound. She grabbed his arm to console him. She knew he would get mad, but not at her, but at himself. She couldn't let him be angry like that. It was one of these thigns that she couldn't let happen. He would think he pushed her too far, but he didn't, she pushed herself. He gave her the oppertunity to turn away, and she had stupidly ignored it, and dove into soemthing that she was fairly sure she didn't want. So she just hugged him now, wraped her hands around his broad back. She kept her head against his chest so she could hear his heart beat. She needed a bath, but not a hot one. She felt like diving into ice, her body was on fire against his. She hugged him tighter, and rubbed his back, trying to think of a comprimise. "Not now." shw whispered against him, quiet, keeping it low so he knew she didn't want to alk about it. She flet bad now. Tried to comfort herself by thinking she was making a good descion. But some little nagging part of her wondered if she was really right.

[CALEB D FLAMME]

Caleb heard her gasp as he kissed her skin. He tried to be gentle, tried to slow down. Tried to make her comfortable with this, with him. She was always so standofish with physical touch. He was pushing her tonight, in more then one way. He pushed her for information, to talk about her trip, now he was pushing her in a way he knew could be more damaging he was pushing her physically. The more he kissed her, while there was a pleasure he got in bringing out a gasp from her soft warm lips, he knew this was wrong. He sighed as he stepped away.

He'd done it again, or so he thought. Made things go to far with the, he was just trying to make her happy though. Trying to do things he thought would make her happy. But it never turned out like that not for him. Then in some sort of wave of motion, she did something he thought he would only see in his dreams. She started to kiss him, and Caleb wasn't going too wait. He smiled into the kiss, kissing her back more slowly, more passionatly instead of strong like how she was kissing him. He didn't want to hurt her, then just as fast as it had started the kiss was over and he was looking at her knowing he'd done wrong. Her lips fell motionless against his. Caleb watched her, feeling like she'd just come out of a dream. Then she started asking what she'd done, and he knew it was to good to be true. He sighed, feeling like he'd been lead on. But knowing he'd started it in a way, he felt a wave of anger, at himself, then more saddness, finally just an emptyness.

The way she said his name. Like it was something that couldn't be spoken. He closed his eyes, why oh why did he always have to mess up? To fuck this up? Why couldn't he do anything right?! She held him, and he didn't move didn't react. He just didn't know what to do. He sighed after a little bit, there was no way he could resist her. He was upset this wasn't what he wanted. He looked at her, and wrapped his arms around her finally. Kissing the top of her head, he didn't want to push her so hard, he didn't want moments like this. Where they both felt horrible, he wanted her to be happy. Happy, he thought nearly bitter. He never seemed to make her happy. All he ever did, was make her upset. Make her unhappy, and sad, push he to dar and make things worse. He was horrible at this, he looked down at her while she was in his arms. He wasn't holding her tight, maybe he should just leave her alone? Maybe she'd be better off alone, after all he didn't seem to do her any good. Still while he thought about that he knew he couldn't stand to be away from her.

He looked at her when she spoke. He wanted so much to tell her that he understood. He wanted to say that and just make her feel better. But he didn't understand, and as much as this sucked he wasn't about to lie to her and make it worse. He pulled back from her, he was strong enough to make her let go, of him. "Go run your bath," he said looking at her. He wasn't giving her any wiggle room. She was going to go and do this, there wasn't going to be any talk about it. Caleb was all out of talking, everything he said only seemed to make things worse. He turned around from her, and moved over to the bed. He laid down, closing his eyes, he just wasn't sure what to do with her anymore. Everything was wrong.

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[MINERVA L TRESCOTT]

How much easier would it have been to give in? Too much. So it was almost defeat. But it was being happy. She wanted him to be happy. And just him, standing there made her happy. She honestly didn't need anything else. And maybe she was wrong. That's what that other voice told her. And when he gave her so much, and she could give him so little, it was almost true.

He broke from her so easily, her ferocious grip to him. She didn't think of anything to say, that was the pitiful part. And that's why she just wanted to listen to him. She felt like a dog getting yelled at. Something taken from her. She nodded meekly, and reached out with her head, grazing it along his arm. Why couldn't she do any of this right?

It made her heart hurt. She turned, and walked into the bathroom. She didn't feel right, she never did. That's what heart the most. She pulled off everything carefully, folding her clothes and laying them on the sink. She felt so wrong. A source of disappointment. She never folded anything. She looked up at the mirror. There had never been anything wrong with her body, in her eyes. It was there, why argue with it? Now there was too much wrong with it. Too much there, too little there. She couldn't stand the sight of herself. She wanted to throw something at her reflection. But her arm reminded her that it wasn't such a brilliant idea. She turned her head away, and walked to the bath tub, putting it on much hotter then it should be. Sat on the edge, waiting for it to fill. her head in her hands. She felt like crying again. It had gone from good to bad so fast. God, I'm such a screw-up. She didn't want any of this remorse. Was this how it was supposed to be?

The water was too hot. Ungodly hot. But she sunk into it anyway. She liked the sting against her body. She remembered hearing that hot water boiled away germs. She wanted every emotion to disintegrate, and wash away every touch. She wanted to forget. She leaned down, so that the only thing above water was her face, her ears below so all she heard was the rush of the still water. She didn't want anything else.

She sat for what felt like hours, just getting rid of the pain that battered at her body. She wanted to forget. And she did, and she sat motionless then, for a very long time. But then she remembered she might be needed. Got out of the bathtub. Shaking, she grabbed a towel. And the shiver's weren't just from the cold.

She brushed her hair silently, avoiding eye contact with the other her. Trying to be paitent. Slipping on a hotel robe. Her clothes were impersonal now. She didn't want rough fabrics. She just wanted the soft cotton. And maybe less, or more, depending on how you looked at it.

She was done with this part of life. She looked at her reflection steely, before smashing the side of her fist against the mirror. She wasn't strong, like Caleb, though, and she felt nothing except a sore that would probably bloom into a bruise. Inspecting it, it was already red. God, she was such an idiot.

Walked out into the room, seeing if she could smell any food. But her nose was clogged from steam. Red eyes searched, seeing if there was a source of forgiveness. Such a fool. Such a goddamn idiot.

one last night at the lonely wheel
one last taste of the sin we feel
one hope in the fear that drives us on
one last drink just to kill the pain
one last breath before i say your name
i'm giving into you

-lonely wheel, the almost

[CALEB D FLAMME]

Caleb held her for just a one more moment. Holding onto her while he could. He loved her, and he didn't want her to know he was upset. He wasn't upset, ok he was but only under his skin. Really inside he was sad, he knew he'd done wrong. He failed at trying to make, and keep her happy. He just loved her too much sometimes. He didn't think, he just wanted her to smile. As he laid on the bed he closed his eyes listened to the bath fill with water. Thinking about Min in the next room, her soft skin, the way she might look right now...no! he told himself. Sometimes he hated the fact he was male, and that it was thoughts like this that lead his actions that hurt Minnie.

Caleb was one of those people who always said he wanted to sit down and relax. But once he did, he felt restless. Laying on the bed, he felt useless, waiting for Minnie to get out of the bath. He tried to think of a way to make it up to her, to make up the kisses to her. He shouldn't have done that, even if he was her boyfriend. He rolled his eyes, could he call himself that? He wasn't sure. They sure didn't act much different then they had when they'd been friends, other then a few kisses here and there, and they never ended up turning out well.

Sometimes he wished they could go back to the days, when his biggest mistakes were made up with hugs. When she still liked him, and he knew he was in love with him. But of course he knew there was something different between them now. He sighed, "Ya..." he said to the air, opening the eyes. Tension, that was what they had now. Him always walking on glass, and even if he made it threw well enough, there was something else. It was never easy, Caleb sat up not wanting to think about this anymore. It was just upsetting, he grabbed the phone and ordered some food. Burgers, fries, shakes, and chocolate cake. If Minerva wanted something else she could order it, he thought.

Think of the devil, he was forced to think, when she walked out of the bathroom. Caleb was standing up now, and streching his arms. He looked at her and shook his head, "You need some clothes?" he asked her looking at her. She was in the robe, and he couldn't help but smirk, it was big and fluffy she looked cute in it. Even though there was pain in his heart he knew he shouldn't take it out on her. "Minnie," he said looking at her. "Come here," he told her, even though he was coming near her. He didn't want to wait for her too come to him. He looked at her, once he was next to her, he wrapped his arms around her wasit. Then he did something that while it may never work out for him, always gave him a wave of happiness. He brought his lips to her's gently, not pushing on them, he waited for her to come to him. When it was done, he looked at her, "I love you Minnie," he told her. "I'm sorry," the words left his mouth before she could say anything.

[MINERVA L TRESCOTT]

Maybe if she had thought, she would have realized that just a robe wasn't going to help the present situation. But she had thought about more. And she just couldn't shake this feeling that she could give him nothing. He was protective, and he had a brilliant life ahead of him, could get any girl he wanted, was going to be famous. What was Minerva but a broken shell of a thing, gripping to this stroke of luck that she had? She was just problems, problems Caleb didn't need. But she was smart enough to stop trying to point this out to him. So now she was focusing on what she could do to make it up to him.

She still hadn't thought of anything.

His arms wrapped around her, not needing to go to him at all. She sighed against him. Her body ached all over. It agreed, make him happy. But was it just an impulse? And things like that were hard for Minerva to think about. Their first kiss? Not her first, of course, but she'd like to think of it that way. For what were the others in comparison? Min had never had a real 'boyfriend.' How could she when all she did was push people away? And as for a virgin, she was. On this territory, she had no idea what she was doing. Just nights in clubs were she got heavy, but then just smiled, buttoned up her shirt, and walked away. It was all there just to prove a point, of course. What else could you expect from the girl who learned to provoke abuse from her mother, like it was a battle she had one? She was the instigator of everything. And even here, had she caused this? That one night in the tour bus, when her mind has seemingly run out on her, and she fell all over Caleb.

But she could feel her brain beating against her head. She was shaking all over. She lifted her head from his chest, and pulled back gently. She wasn't strong, she couldn't break any hold someone had on her. She just placed her palms on his chest, her hands trembling like a newborn baby bird. Deep breaths. She had no idea how to phrase it either. "Caleb," her voice was quivering slightly, like she was on the verge of hyperventalating. Could he hear her? Her voice seemed less then a whisper. But she couldn't trust her body anymore, it was going haywire at these ideas. " I have nothing else, um, wait.." She blinked slowly, took another breath. "If you, uh, really..." She couldn't think anymore. "Goddammit." She leaned forward, and kissed him again. The same, but different. She knew what she was starting this time, or, at least she hoped she did.

Was it so bad that sex was the only thing she could think of giving him? That she was that shallow? What else did she have, though? And obviously, he wanted it. She didn't have any ideals about it, it would just happen. She wasn't some insane-chaste person. But it was a scary thought in her mind, she guessed. And now she was always self-concious about herself around him. She thought about her body moments earlier. What about that? Disapointment? Then there were the silly questions that plagued her. Would she just become some common whore? She didn't want to think anymore though. She had learned that she was better when her catastrophe of emotions dealt with Caleb, instead of her brain. And her heart said yes, yes this was good. Nothing bad was going to happen to her. This was Caleb.

well, now i'm told that this is life
and pain is just a simple compromise
so we can get what we want out of it
would someone care to classify,
of broken hearts and twisted minds
so I can find someone to rely on,
and run, run to them

-misguided ghosts, paramore

^{ooc;; so, like, his reaction and then after,
when min went to get dressed in the bathroom?
unless he wants to stop heeer......}

[CALEB D FLAMME]

Caleb held Min, he looked at her for a moment. Closing his eyes. This was it, he thought to himself. From now on he wouldn't push her. Not in a physical way at least. He knew he was being cruel by pushing her like he did. He should be more caring about her, he should have thought before he started this. From now on, anything more then a few second long kiss, he wouldn't be the one to start it. No matter how much his body ached to have her. He didn't want to hurt her, she mattered to much to him for that.

He opened his eyes when he felt her against him. The robe didn't help he took in a deep breath trying to control himself. Then he noticed she was shaking. Before he could get her name out of his mouth she'd already called his. He looked at her, wanting to ask her what she wanted him to do. What was the matter, but she was trying to tell him he could tell. She was having a hard time with it, or so it seemed to him. Then she kissed him. Her lips on his, was a shock, especially with the talk he'd just given himself.

Then Caleb did something he thought he might not be strong enough to do. While his body wanted to smother her in kisses, take her right there, and make her know she was loved, and beautiful. His brain was ahead of his body, and forced him to pull back away from her. "No," the word came out of his throat before his body could stop it. The two sides of his mind at war with each other. Caleb looked at her with wide eyes, he shook his head. "No Minnie," he told her this time he was more gentle with his words and tone. Trying not too sound mean.

"I know what your trying to do," he said looking at her. It wasn't the first time he'd been in this situation. "Your better than this," he told her looking at her. "You don't know what your doing kissing me like this," he closed his eyes he could still feel her lips on his. He had too take a breath and step away. "Minnie," he paused thinking about his words. "Your worth better," he told her looking at her. Part of his heart hurt while he said these words. He felt like he was being used in a way, like she was using him to hurt herself. In some way he didn't understand. But he knew this wasn't really what she wanted.

More importantly it wasn't what she needed right now. It wasn't what her body, or mind needed. She needed something that wasn't going to be complicated, being physical with her. Was just the opposite then that. He looked at her, he was reminded of a phrase he'd heard many times before, "You can't love someone else until you love yourself," he said thinking out loud. Caleb walked over to the bed and sat down, he put his head in his hands. "You don't make this easy as it is Minnie, please don't think I don't want you, you know that's not the case. I just....I don't want to make this harder for us than it already is. And being physical with you...." he shook his head. "No. I won't do. Not right now." he told her turning to her and looking at her. Hoping something of what he'd said had turned into sense. Otherwise he may just loose this battle against his body and take her despite the words he said.

[MINERVA L TRESCOTT]

She was a year older then Caleb. It'd never occured to her before, it never mattered much. And it still didn't, but it jumped to the front of her mind. It didn't make sense, anyway. Emotionally, she was like an eight year old, with too many conflicting emotions that she couldn't rein in nor control. And faking something? Forget it. She couldn't even decide on what to feel herself. And physically, she was still like a sickly seventeen year old, perpetually anorexic, no matter what she ate, with frail, bird-like features. She was petite compared to anyone. Caleb just swallowed her up in more ways then one. And she was almost positive he knew more about life then her; she'd never even let herself experience it.

He walked away, and she deliberated a moment, waiting for her brain to kick in. There was a knock at the door, and her head spun from studying Caleb to the huge door, her hair spinning around her in a cascade. Right, food. She walked calmly to the door, like she hadn't been moments away from an emotional break down. She didn't even spare a look at the poor employee who opened to door before grabbing the tray and shutting the door, turning instead to Caleb. She walked and leaned down, putting the food on the floor. Burgers, fries, shakes, and chocolate cake. Just like Caleb. She smiled for a minute, a twitch of the lip. Comfort food. What she needed. She opened her mouth to say something, but instead turned and walked to her bag, grabbing some shorts. Better to fix the problem before it caused more heartache or friction. She walked calmly into the bathroom, and dressed quickly, using the tank top from earlier. Relief washed over her. She didn't have anything hanging over her head, no jaw-dropping expectations. She didn't know how she was supposed to feel about all of this, but that was the only emotion she could conjure up.

She looked at herself in the mirror. She didn't know what to think of herself anymore. She had never thought anything in particular of herself before. Like she had mused earlier, her body was there, why argue with it. She thought of something Caleb said, and it confused her. She touched her face silently, looking at her slightly kiss-swollen lips. Her eyes were bright though, and she had a look of abandon on it. Like something amazing was going to happen, but she had no regard for it, she was going to embrace the turn whether something great came out of it or not.

She walked out, and got onto the other side of the bed by Caleb. She curled on her side, and turned, so she was looking at his back, half-way into a fetal position. "I don't know if I love myself. I don't not love myself. I am indifferent. My body is here, why argue with it? But the rest of me? I didn't make those choices, that made me who I am. So why should I love something I have no say in? It's like someone ordering me to love this bed. If I have no reason to do it, other then you telling me, why should I?" She pursed her lips for a moment. She felt nice. She was play debating with him. But she stopped, although she might've said more. He would take her too serious. She laughed, and turned onto her back, staring at the ceiling. "If you say I'm worth more, Caleb, then what am I worth?" She was just thinking, her little philosophical thoughts. And maybe she wanted to know. What did he think, what were his unabashed reactions?

It seemed that whenever she was with Caleb, something big happened? Couldn't they just be? That was her new goal for the night, just to be with him, and have that couple-like banter that she envied, that everyone else got. What did she get besides problems when she got so close to perfection? She did not want to be Minerva, the poisoned girl of her mother, she did not want to be Min, the dry, sarcastic, bitter cynic. She just wanted to be Minnie. Caleb's carefree girl who could talk for hours about nothing in particular, and just be content with him breathing her air. It was time to hang-up her old faces and decide on one she liked. One she chose to love herself, not one others wanted her to love.

in a show of hands, who has said these words before?
and in a show of hearts on the floor, who has ever meant them more?
well, i'll swallow my pride if you'll stay for the years
and watch me spin circles as i disappear
and hearts, they don't lie, they just quiver in fear

-just say you're not into it, mayday parade

[CALEB D FLAMME]

Caleb sat on the bed, fighting with the seemingly two parts of himself. Since when had he been split into two people. Possibly even more people, as his body wanted Minnie. To take her, but he was cooling down. While another thought wanted to be alone, and yet another part of him thought about trying to make her happy. All of this was inside of him, swirling and making a mess of everything. He wasn't sure what to do. So instead he sat there, and waited for Minnie, to come to him. To think he hadn't messed up everything with them. He sucked in a breath when the door opened, the smell of food hit him and he remembered that he'd ordered food. He hoped Minnie would like it. She walked into the bathroom, he thought to put on clothes or do something, possibly be away from him. His mind was going too many places at once for him to think straight.

Caleb sighed when she crawled into the bed. He turned too look at her. He wanted to smile, just at the sight or her, at the thoughts that she was back with him, that he didn't have to sleep alone anymore. He brushed her hair, lightly with his fingers while she spoke thinking about what she was saying and asking him. Trying to make her understand. He shook his head, "I wasn't talking about your body Minnie," he looked her in the eyes as he said this. "I was talking about you, who you are, what you do the thoughts in your head that inspire you to be who you are," he said looking at her. "You have to love who you've become in order to love someone else, you have too like who you are, otherwise it won't work out," he said looking at her. Thinking maybe he'd gotten to the source of their problems. "I don't know what you think your worth, and I don't much care what you think. Because to me you are worth everything," he told her. She was everything, because there was nothing without her.

He looked at her, this conversation was getting too heavy for him. "Hey," he said slipping out of bed, he smiled and grabbed the food. Bringing it too her, "This is supposed to be a happy thing," he said looking at her. "I finally got my girl back," and from the tone in his voice he hoped she could hear how truly happy he was about that. That he had her, that she was his, and that things where going to be okay between the two of them. "I love you, Minnie," he told her. Minnie, it was his name for her, he loved ever part of her, be she called Minerva, Min, or Minnie. He just wanted her to know that she loved him.